Animal
by Scyllia
Summary: Natsu charges off to fight a Dark Guild, only to be captured and brutally tortured for five months. When his friends from Fairy Tail break in to save him, they realize he may be broken beyond repair.
1. Rescue

_**Animal**_

by _Scyllia_

* * *

><p>He looked so small and vulnerable, curled up in the back corner of the cell.<br>From this distance it was hard to make out much more than a dark shape. Lucy had a flashlight with her, but honestly, she didn't want to see in detail. She was afraid of what she'd find. The spirit mage had berated herself many times because of it, but in the end, she couldn't even flick one switch.  
>Lucy swallowed many times, but the lump in her throat didn't go away. She approached him cautiously, afraid of what she'd inevitably find.<p>

Was he dead?

Were they too late?

The harsh stank and cold drafts were making it hard to concentrate. It smelled atrocious in here. Blood, urine, feces, and infection all mixed their distinctive, meaty scents into one pungent odor; although it was nothing compared to the evil emanating from every corner. This guild reeked of dark magic and unspoken horrors, all of which were caressing Lucy's spine with skeletal fingers. She'd already thrown up once from the sheer feeling of disgust this place gave her. Lucy had always had something of a sixth sense, or so she believed, and right now, it was telling her to get the &%# out of here. The deeper she went into this hellhole, the stronger the feeling became, adding layers to the clot in her throat. Her heart picked up speed at every small noise and the sound became a metronome; telling her over and over to just run away.

Leave him and save yourself.  
>It was always so tempting to run, to be a coward. But she had a job to do, and like the rest of the Fairy Tail members fighting upstairs, she would never give up until it was done. Her friend was in danger and she <em>would not <em>leave him.  
>They were loyal to fault.<br>Lucy swallowed back that annoying lump of fear and examined the cell before moving in. She flicked the switch. The flashlight illuminated intricate seals lining every scratch-able surface. She didn't know much about this type of magic, but she knew enough from reading Levy's books that this was designed to block and drain magic power. But the strangest thing, she noted, was the lack of a lock or chain on the barred door.  
>A faint whimper cut through her thoughts. It was coming from the shape.<br>She tried not think that it sounded like him.  
>As the shriek of battle grew louder overhead, Lucy abandoned caution and moved completely into the cell.<p>

What she saw would be forever burned into her nightmares.

His body was in shambles, the sheer force of the carnage bringing Lucy to her knees. All his wounds and bruises were on display, for his meager clothing consisted only of a moth-eaten pair of pants; but even they were torn almost to his hips, revealing thighs slick with blood.  
>Fresh blood.<p>

Lucy dragged her gaze away to look at the ravages on the rest of his body. It was like driving by a massive car accident, it made you sick to watch but you couldn't turn away.  
>Gashes littered his thin frame and every one of them was horribly infected. Yellowy pus was oozing from the cracks in the badly formed scabs. There were bruises all over his stomach and ribs; they ranged in color from black to yellow to deep purple.<br>Igneel's scarf was fisted tightly in his hands and clutched to his chest. The cloth was dirty, something of a shock to Lucy. He always took utmost care and pride in this scarf, to see it muddy and wrinkled saddened her greatly.  
>While staring at his broken form, Lucy realized with a start that he was awake.<br>And staring at her.  
>His big, lively black eyes were dull and bloodshot now. Red bruise-like marks stained his eyelids and the corners of his chewed up lips. That pretty rose hair was gummed with dirt and feces and dried blood.<br>He looked truly frightening.

Lucy moved closer despite the fear, wanting desperately to comfort her friend. He sat up at her movement, fear igniting those dark eyes to life. His shoulders hunched and he moved back against the wall, trembling. Lucy paused, confused by his reaction. He should have been excited to see her.

Didn't he know she was taking him home?

Her mind was raging against itself. Split into factions that fought for control of her body. Parts of her wanted to run and hide, some preferred screaming and vomiting. Another loudly declared that this could not be him. The boy she knew was wild and untamed, with a spirit that could not be broken. But this creature before her was exactly the opposite.

One look in his eyes and it was obvious; he wasn't just broken, but _shattered_.

Lucy fought these emotions and became blind to everything but her need to help him. Her hand extended tentatively, wanting to brush his bruised cheek.

But he growled at her, low and deep.  
>It was a primal sound-not something a human should make.<p>

Lucy unconsciously moved back.  
>She stared at him, at his bared teeth and predatory posture. He looked like a cornered, wild animal. Like some exotic creature being kept for sport and amusement; even more so now that Lucy could see the barbed wire collar. It was twined crudely around his neck, parts of it digging viciously into his soft throat and glimmering between streams of caked blood and exposed muscle. His body had tried to heal and skin was growing over the collar in some sections, embedding the wire even further. Lucy couldn't even begin to comprehend how infected and <em>painful <em>that must be. The fiery mage stopped growling and sat back against the wall. His raspy breathing was the only sound down here, and it was not a pleasant one. He kept a close eye on Lucy, daring her to come closer yet afraid of her at the same time.

The battle was quieting to a hum upstairs, so it wouldn't be long before someone came down here. Lucy hoped it would be a member from Fairy Tail.  
>And if not. . .<br>She shuddered to think of what might happen.  
>But beside her fear was determination, she had come this far already, and she was not about to give up now. Natsu had never given up on her before, or any of his friends for that matter.<br>It was time to return the favor.

A new burst of courage lit inside her. She reached for him again, but this time he jerked away. He stared at her with wide eyes. They shone with a fear so primal it invaded her body and settled into a pit in her stomach. That burst of courage disappeared. In an instant she realized that this recovery was not going to be as she expected. The truth of it all had been lingering in her mind for quite some time now, since before they'd stormed this guild, but she'd refused to acknowledge it. She'd wanted to break in and bring the mage home, then everything would go back to normal. She wanted to depend on him once more.  
>He would overwhelm the enemy and everyone would go back to Fairy Tail with a triumphant smile on their faces.<p>

But how could this be if he didn't even recognize her?

She was being too naive. Tears came to her eyes and she murmured his name, "Natsu. . ."

He blinked.

There was a faint recognition in his eyes that did not go unnoticed by Lucy. That tiny spark returned, if just a little. She repeated his name, a glimmer of hope in her voice. He seemed to taste it, rolling it over in his broken mind.

"Natsu, it's me, Lucy. Do you remember me?"

His head swung back and forth a little, as if he were dizzy. It pained Lucy to watch him struggle with something so simple as his own name.

He stopped suddenly and spoke,"Lucy. . ." His voice was soft and hoarse. He grappled with this word as well.  
>Natsu repeated her name softly to himself. "Lucy. . ?"<br>She smiled a bit and extended her hand again, palm up and non-threatening. The fire mage blinked and leaned forward hesitantly. Lucy kept as still as she could as he sniffed her hand. The cold tip of his nose brushed across her fingers and Lucy hoped desperately that his strong sense of smell would come through. Her prayer was answered as Natsu said her name again. Strongly this time.

"Lucy."

He looked up at her with some of the same spirit he'd had before.  
>Lucy let herself cry with relief.<p>

* * *

><p>The battle upstairs was drawing to a close and Gray couldn't be more thankful. He didn't want to spend another minute in this foreign guild. Gray was sure he wasn't the only one who could feel the demented aura emanating from every board and nail. It made him nauseas.<br>It made him want to stomp this place into the ground and forget about it forever. It made him sick to think that Natsu had been here, of all places, for five months. He had to admit, he'd missed having the little prick around. There was no one to pick a fight with in quite the same way as him.

Gray shook his head to clear this odd thought, when a woman's scream echoed through the guild. He spun to see Lucy emerging from a staircase that lead underground. She was holding something, or rather, someone. Gray instantly knew who it was.

"_Speak of the devil and the devil will appear,_" he thought smugly.

But why was Mirajane screaming? Why weren't the other guild members cheering?

Gray pushed through the gathering crowd to reach the front, his heart thumping with dread.

"_Something's wrong._"

What he saw made him wish he'd stayed away. Lucy was in fact carrying Natsu. But he just looked. . . _wrong_. Was this really him? Gray found himself wanting to believe that this was just an impostor, that they'd made a mistake and rescued the wrong mage.  
>The crowd shifted uncomfortably around him, they weren't sure how to react either. They just stared at the mutilated body of their friend. It was a violent shock to their system that produced a collective thought,<p>

_"This can't be happening."_

Like Gray, everyone had always thought Natsu to be some untouchable little fire god. He was the guild's golden boy, the one they could always count on for the victory against impossible odds. But seeing him like this - thin and trembling, covered in the most ugly wounds they'd ever seen - was too much.

For the first time in years, Gray felt cold inside.

How could this have happened?

"_This isn't how it's supposed to be!_" Was he so naive to think that? The crowd's collective gasp shook Gray out of his thoughts. Natsu was waking up. His bruised eyelids lifted sluggishly and he tried to make sense of what was going on.

He took one look at them and let out the most bloodcurdling scream they could imagine.

The fire mage struggled violently in Lucy's arms, his eyes wide with a fear Gray didn't know he was capable of. He had never seen Natsu afraid of anything.  
>Lucy was crying and fighting to hang on to the boy, begging him to stop. The crowd shrank away in shock, but Gray and a few other members rushed to Lucy's aid, only causing Natsu's panic to intensify.<p>

The fire mage looked directly at him, "Don't touch me! Don't touch me! Get away!" Gray flinched back as the boy's hand swung out at him. Droplets of blood landed on the bare skin of his arm, but the ice mage's shock went deeper.

Natsu was afraid of _him_.

They had never been on the best of terms really, always fighting and arguing, but Gray considered Natsu a friend at the same time. To hear those words, to see the horror and tears directed at him—it hurt.

Master Makarov suddenly appeared at the head of the crowd. Grief made his face look even older, and his eyes shone with unshed tears. He looked pained as he reached out and touched Natsu's forehead; he had never wanted to use magic on one of his own children. Light glowed at the Master's fingertips and the brief, insane struggle ended. He was limp once again in Lucy's arms, but his face didn't fully relax. There were remnants of the fear and distress in his knitted brow and grimacing, chewed up lips.  
>Someone shuffled forward to try and comfort Lucy, who couldn't seem to stop crying. It was Mirajane, looking just as lost and broken as the stellar spirit mage.<p>

Her pale hand reached out to stroke Natsu's dirty hair, and Gray nearly threw up as lice eggs sprinkled the floor.  
>He needed to distract himself, so the ice mage looked down at his feet and caught sight of Happy standing beside him. The cat was riveted to the spot, his large eyes seemed stuck in their lost gaze.<p>

Gray wondered if he looked the same way.

Makarov lead Lucy away with a quiet order for everyone to clear out.

Gray was all too happy to oblige.

* * *

><p>Master Makarov stayed behind with Happy a long time after the others left.<br>He felt compelled to be here with the cat and help him through his shock. Even if the only thing he could do was stand beside him and offer the silent comfort of his presence.

Oh who was he kidding?

Makarov was in need of comfort himself. The old man sighed to keep himself in check and stole a glance at the cat. Happy had not moved an inch from this spot.  
>His paws were clenched and his jaws were locked, no doubt containing a scream of rage, grief, and anguish. Makarov knew the feeling all too well, it had been coiling inside him since the day Natsu had disappeared.<br>He acknowledged that Happy must be feeling even worse, for he knew the cat was blaming himself for letting Natsu out of his sight. The old man wished to give some comforting words, but his mouth was dry.

He lightly touched the cat's shoulder before walking across the guild's wood floor. He needed to investigate this place. Makarov was going to present this to the council, he was going to make sure nothing like this _ever _happened again.  
>He reached the staircase Lucy had emerged from and descended it. The smell hit him like a punch to the gut. Makarov nearly doubled over from it, barely keeping his lunch down. He couldn't describe the horrors this scent conjured for him, and it only got worse as he went further.<p>

The stone steps echoed beneath his feet, keeping in time with his nervous heart. Truth be told, he was afraid of what he'd find here. The wounds on Natsu's body had made him sick with rage and horror. Who or what could possibly turn him, of all mages, into that broken creature?

The staircase turned at the bottom and Makarov entered a large chamber. There were crude devices hanging on the stone walls, their edges glinting in the low lamplight: Whips, cattle irons, glass shards; things that sent cold chills down his spine.  
>The old man forced his eyes from the wall and examined the other side of the circular room, the one lined with cells. Wickedly curved knives were strewn across a wooden table. The table was stained with blood in varying stages of decay. What disturbed him most about this device were the straps hooked into it. There was no denying that mages had been tied to this table and suffered countless times. The cells were positioned in such a way that allowed prisoners to watch.<br>Makarov swallowed his disgust and took all of this in. There was no doubt, this place was a torture chamber.

He wondered how many of these tools had been used on Natsu, how many times was he strapped to that table and abused?  
>How long did he scream before someone came to help him?<p>

Makarov lowered his head and cried for his beloved child.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I recently became obsessed with Fairy Tail so I really wanted to write a fic with it, and this concept has been floating around my head for a long time now. I thought it would be great to use Fairy Tail because Natsu is so confident and untouchable, a real cornerstone for the guild; I wanted to explore what it would be like without that. I was also a little disappointed at the lack of fics like this for Fairy Tail (I know, I'm such a sadist). Please review if you'd like me to continue, reading them makes my day and really inspires me to keep going!**_

_**~Scyllia**_


	2. Arrival

As she followed Erza back to Fairy Tail, Lucy tried her best to ignore the sensation of Natsu's blood seeping into her clothes.

* * *

><p>She had not felt this way for a long time, not since Lisanna's death. That crushing weight of helplessness and grief, the claws of guilt at her throat... She'd banished these emotions long ago, swearing somewhere deep inside to never let them in again. But now, that oath meant absolutely nothing to her broken heart. Here she was, torn up inside over what had happened to Natsu. Feeling these terrible emotions war inside her once more made her sick and scrambled even the simplest thoughts in her mind. Her legs were on autopilot, her entire body hardly registering any more than putting one foot in front of the other. It was if something vital were missing inside her, something she hadn't noticed until it was already gone. But that something had kept her together, and now, it had disappeared, leaving a space for the bad things to begin consuming her from the inside out. Her eyes burned and the tears wouldn't cease.<br>She couldn't stop them if she wanted to.

Elfman kept pace beside his sister, tears in his eyes as well. He kept looking up at the head of the crowd, where Lucy and Erza were traveling side by side. The blond mage held Natsu protectively in her arms; she'd been doing so this whole journey, for he weighed barely anything. He was so small and sickly now, his condition holding the entire guild in a shocked silence. No one had gentle words to say, only an uncomfortable silence held on a dry tongue. Their eyes trained on the ground, seldom glancing up, only to watch the victim squirm in pain. The best they could do for him now was to form a semi-circle of protection around him, to hide him from the prying, pitying eyes of the Magnolia citizens.  
>The few who did get a look gaped and pointed their fingers, sending jolts of protective anger through the guild. Why did these people have to be so nosy? Couldn't they just mind their own business for once and leave Fairy Tail alone? Right now, it felt as if the whole world were against them.<p>

This was a war, one to keep Natsu alive, and they were already losing.

Elfman had tried to offer the poor boy comfort, it was natural for a gentle soul like him to be drawn to those in need, especially fellow guild members. But the large man's presence only seemed to frighten Natsu. The fire mage had flinched away, as if he expected to be hit. Such a simple movement, an instinctive one, had punctured straight down to the large man's heart. He'd cried at the Elfman's touch and hidden in Lucy's sleeve, crying over and over that he just didn't want to be touched.  
>Elfman always claimed that a true man like him would never cry, but right now, he didn't give a $#%&amp;. Seeing Natsu like that had ripped him apart inside, and he could hardly care about his outward appearance, not while the fire mage was in so much obvious pain and distress. This was a product of the terrible life Natsu had been living for five months. He couldn't describe the anguish and rage he felt towards that guild at that moment.<br>Why did Natsu have to be the one to suffer?  
>What had he <em>ever <em>done to deserve it? It wasn't fair!

How long would innocent people continue to be victims in this world?

* * *

><p>Lucy was entirely drained when she entered the front doors of the Fairy Tail guild. She had been exhausted long before that, but her body would not allow her to rest. The spirit mage had been entirely focused on getting Natsu back home, and now that the job was accomplished, she was at a loss for what to do next. Her mind was thoroughly worn and not working properly, the only thing she could process right now was the pounding at the base of her neck, punching any coherent thought to oblivion. All the things Natsu needed were blatantly obvious: food, water, bandages, medicine, the list could go on. . .<br>What scared her most about this list were the immaterial things, she wondered if she would be able to provide them. Or would she just fail in her task to repay him?  
>She was frustrated and tired and so sad it ached. Her limbs burned from the long trek and her ankles were swollen. Lucy's skin was covered in sweat and dirt and. . . blood.<br>Natsu's blood.  
>The stellar mage swallowed hard as her body suddenly became keenly aware of every drop of the crimson and puss on her skin. She felt the coolness and the cracks develop as it dried. She shuddered and the fire mage shifted uncomfortably in her arms. He whimpered softly.<br>Lucy hadn't been able to find a position where she could carry him pain free. There were just too many injuries on his small, trembling form to avoid.  
>Despite her lack of control of the situation, Lucy felt guilty. She had sworn, back in the chamber, to do whatever it took for Natsu. But how much more pain would she have to cause him before this was all over? She felt like she couldn't do anything right.<br>The blond mage was about to cry when a hand settled on her shoulder. The touch was hesitant, but an underlying confidence was present. Lucy turned to see Erza beside her, puffy-eyed and lips set in a firm line. Without even thinking, Lucy blurted out,

"What do I do now?"

The pair of swollen brown eyes blinked gently at her. She knew the anguish and confused frustration the other mage must be feeling. Her best friend was in critical condition, but she had no idea what to do now.  
><em>That crushing helplessness. . .<em>  
>Erza reached out and gently smoothed Natsu's brow, leaving a trail of pale skin as her fingers cut through the layers of dirt and grime. She had an idea.<p>

"Let's get him cleaned up first."

* * *

><p>Lucy made sure to turn the heat up high in the room while Erza ran the hot water in the tub. Washing the young fire mage was going to take a long time, and the water would cool and need to be drained often, so it was important to keep the room hot enough for Natsu's body to retain some heat during those events. Said mage was lying on the floor now, glancing around with slight confusion as he dripped blood and pus on the floor. He looked entirely out of place in clean white bathroom. A mess of dirt and feces and crimson midst a pure backdrop. Natsu must have felt out of place too, for he was curled in on himself, trying hard to appear small.<p>

It stabbed Lucy in a strange way too see how good he was at that.

But his entire demeanor changed when Erza turned the large faucet on. She watched him perk up at the sound of running water. He rose shakily on all fours, his limbs quaking and threatening to dump him back on the linoleum. He turned to make his way to the other side of the bathroom, and that's when she saw it. On his left leg, running from hip to ankle, was the ugliest wound she'd ever seen. She promptly threw up at the sight of it, her lunch reappearing in one violent upheaval. The gash was colored a dark red, like fetid meat, and pus of every color was bubbling out of the edges. It looked like the skin had been peeled open with a serrated knife and the edges were pinned back with staples to keep it from healing.  
>Titania had seen a lot of horrible wounds in her childhood, but this was one of the worst. It was just too infected and horrible; could something this evil really happen to Natsu? Never had it crossed her mind that someone like him could go through such a thing. The fire mage was untouchable in the eyes of everyone in the guild, including Erza. He was supposed to rise high above the rest and lead them to victory, he was never supposed to get hurt, only win by sheer strength and will. He was never to be like this: broken and weak. And it shook her to the core to find out she, and the rest of the guild, were wrong.<p>

Oblivious to his friend's disgust, Natsu had made it to the other side of the bathroom. He bent down and sniffed the tub as it filled. He positioned his head beside the running faucet and proceeded to guzzle the water. Erza wiped her mouth and stood up shakily.

She turned off the faucet.

Natsu snarled at her. His chapped lips curled up to reveal his sharp canines and his eyes narrowed. The red-haired mage was taken off guard and stepped back. Natsu ignored her and bent towards the tub, still thirsty. Lucy was conflicted as she watched. She hated the way he looked like a dog, lapping up the water with his tongue. But she didn't want to make him stop, he was severely dehydrated, he needed it. Erza, however, would have none of it. He was not a dog, and she refused to let him act like one. It hurt too much to watch.  
>She firmly told Natsu to stop, and that she would get him a bottle of water if he needed it, but the fire mage had already drank his fill - for now - and seemed ready for a bath. The two girls helped him into the tub of warm water, but it didn't have the soothing effect they had anticipated. Natsu shrieked in pain as soon as the water hit his more serious injuries. It stung horribly, like hot needles raking every inch of flesh at once. Natsu tried desperately to climb out of the tub, thudding against the ceramic walls and splashing water everywhere. His limbs flailed wildly, hitting everything and everyone in reach. But Erza and Lucy held him down, only increasing his panic. "Don't touch me!" he shouted. " Get off! Get off!" he shrank away from the girls and back against the bathroom wall. He grabbed fistfuls of dirty rose hair and drew his knees against his chest. He became frighteningly still. "Please, don't touch me." Lucy swallowed back the anguish and tears from hearing his voice. He was really, truly afraid of them. Erza sighed heavily beside her, this ordeal was about to take a massive, emotional toll on everyone. And not one of them was ready for it.<p>

* * *

><p>Hours later, the two females had succeeded in getting Natsu clean enough for bandaging. All the soap and scrubbing had caused him a lot of pain, enough to bring the mage to tears and more shrieking. But in the end, he would benefit greatly from it, or so they hoped.<br>After all the dirt and feces had been scrubbed off, his bruises had seemed to intensify in color and size; the infected gashes swelled an angry red, looking even more disgusting on their peach skin backdrop. With one glance people would feel sorry for him. There was no covering the scars on his face and neck. They told the world that this boy had been through hell. But maybe they would heal, and hide this horrific experience away forever. . .  
>Erza's nearing footsteps pulled Lucy out of her thoughts. The armor mage held a needle just out of Natsu's sight.<br>It was filled with morphine.  
>The two of them had agreed that it would be best to drug him before cleaning the injuries themselves. If plain water had caused that much pain, they didn't want to think about how he'd react to alcohol. Erza nodded minutely and Lucy took the unspoken cue. She sat on the bed beside the exhausted mage, "Natsu, can you look at me?" His tired eyes blinked slowly, and eventually, his gaze met Lucy's. The stellar mage took a moment to examen him. The journey back and the bath had taken every last bit of strength, if anyone looked ready to drop, it was him.<br>"Natsu, do you remember my name?"  
>As he struggled with this question, it struck Lucy just how far gone he might be, how she had so easily asked him such a question, and how long it took him to answer. He hadn't spoken since the panic attack in the bathroom. All he'd done was scream and cry and try to get away.<br>"Your name is. . .Lucy."

"Yes that's good Natsu!"  
>Said mage glowed with pride at Lucy's praise. Although it was a positive reaction, she couldn't shake the weird feeling it gave her. He acted as if he hadn't heard a kind word in his life.<br>Erza moved then, and quickly administered the morphine. Natsu flinched, but his reaction was too late. The drug didn't take long to do it's job, for the fire mage's body was already wanting sleep and welcomed the absence of pain. His small form relaxed and his only movement and sound came from breathing.  
>The two girls acted fast. Antiseptic was dabbed carefully on every wound and they took great care in treating his neck and left leg. The barbed wire collar presented a challenge that Erza's armored fingers took on. She carefully untangled the thin steel, and braced herself when she had to reopen some of Natsu's skin to remove it completely. She averted her eyes each time, pretending that she was opening a package, or some other such harmless thing. She tried to ignore how easily his skin broke in her hands. Keeping the nausea down was hard, even for her, and she felt a rush of emotion every time she looked at his leg; unbelievable anger at what they'd done to such an innocent boy, bottomless grief at watching him suffer, but most of all, a guilt that squeezed her heart with cold, thin fingers.<br>She was Titania Erza, she should have been able to save him. . .

It should have never come to this.

It would never have if she'd just been strong enough.

These thoughts ran over and over in her head as the two girls tackled Natsu's worst wound together. Erza was impressed with the way Lucy handled herself, she didn't seem fazed by the revolting smell and appearance of the gash. The stellar mage worked diligently in removing the staples, hardly reacting at all to the sickening way his skin stretched and pulled around the metal. There were about forty staples total, twenty on each side of the gash, which would require stitches. Neither one of them knew how to do so for a wound of this size, so they decided to just clean and bandage it for now. Natsu would be taken to a real doctor soon enough. . .  
>After the two worst injuries were taken care of, the rest flowed smoothly. Many of the smaller lacerations, including the long, thin ones on his back, had already scabbed over. With proper rest and nutrition, these wounds would heal on their own.<br>Erza sat back from her work, feeling somewhat relieved and hopeful. She stole a glance to her left, at the stellar mage, and allowed herself a small smile, just as Lucy was giving as she watched Natsu sleep. Erza looked up at the ceiling, daring, just daring to feel a little hopeful.

They'd stepped onto the path of recovery.

* * *

><p>He'd only gotten worse since waking up.<p>

Natsu wouldn't even speak to her now, much less even glance her way. He was like a completely different person. Happy wasn't much better off either. Not long after Natsu had been cleaned and bandaged, the blue cat had returned to the guild. When questioned about his whereabouts, he would only reveal that he'd been speaking to Master Makarov. But other than that, he hadn't said a word. The blue cat was sitting loyally by Natsu's head, as if he were keeping watch. His blue paw would occasionally reach out and stroke the fire mage's hair in a comforting gesture. Happy was the only one whom Natsu would tolerate any physical contact from since he'd awoken.  
>There was a heavy silence in the room, repulsing and ominous, but Lucy wondered if she was the only one who could feel it. She didn't dare break the quiet though. She was too scared of what Natsu's reaction might be. He'd had a few visitors since coming out of sedation, and it had not gone well. So in his best interest, it was decided no one else would be allowed in. And with no one to talk to to distract herself, Lucy's mind would wander, back to when she'd found the boy.<p>

_He bent down and sniffed a dog bowl full of water. Lucy retched in sick horror when she saw the mosquito larvae wriggling inside. Natsu wrinkled his nose. He was extremely thirsty, but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. Truthfully, he didn't feel like doing anything right now. Natsu __flopped down on his side and watched Lucy drag herself over to him. She'd had enough of this. How dare they treat Natsu this way,  
><em>how dare they._  
>It made her angry beyond words, that such a naive, innocent boy could suffer this much. She reached out to him, desperately wanting to hold this broken creature.<br>He nudged her hand, wanting attention.  
>Lucy desired nothing more than to give it to him; her arms went gently around him, one behind the shoulders and another around the waist. Natsu stiffened, his breath coming fast with panic.<br>"Shh, it's okay," Lucy soothed, "I'm not going to hurt you." she continued to firm her grasp on the young mage, all the while whispering soft words to him. Eventually, Natsu relaxed in her arms, nuzzling into her shoulder. Lucy would've found the gesture cute if she weren't so dismayed by how light he was.  
>"I'm getting you out of here," she murmured, "we're going back to Fairy Tail."<em>

The trip back had been hard on him. He didn't understand any of what was going on and staying alert for a danger that did not exist had only made it worse. He seemed wary of all the guild members, frightened almost, especially of the males. He'd had severe panic attacks when Elfman and Gray came to visit him, yet stayed perfectly calm in the presence of Mirajane and even Erza. But the stress of too many people at once had taken its toll on the boy. Natsu was very weak.  
>He hadn't eaten at all since they'd returned to Fairy Tail, which surprised her greatly. He'd always been something of a pig when it came to food. So why, after five months with very little, would he give it up altogether?<br>Lucy sighed, she was getting ahead of herself again. After all, it had only been about a few hours since they'd got back. She couldn't expect Natsu to be a hundred percent just yet. Lucy glanced at the clock to her left. It told her they'd actually gotten back closer to twelve hours ago.  
>The spirit mage sighed once more, a regular occurrence these days. Lucy reached out and stroked the back of his hand. He felt cold, a stark contrast to the abnormal heat his body used to radiate.<br>Sometimes she wondered if she would ever get the real Natsu back.  
>Lucy glanced up to find the mage watching her. Startled, she withdrew her hand. Natsu frowned and looked away again, causing a pit of rejection to settle in Lucy's heart.<p>

He acted as if they had never been friends in the first place.

* * *

><p>When Makarov entered the Infirmary, he did not expect to find a quietly crying Lucy sitting by Natsu's bedside. Happy was trying to console the girl, but it didn't seem to be doing much. He felt as if he were intruding here, especially after Lucy had denied any more visitors after the last fiasco with Gray.<br>The old man cleared his throat awkwardly.  
>Lucy quickly dried her tears and Happy resumed his post by Natsu's head. They greeted one another and settled into an uncomfortable silence. It seemed like everyone was at a loss for words when it came to Natsu. He sighed inwardly, this was going to be a long, hard road to navigate. But at least he had a place to start.<br>Makarov took up a chair beside Lucy and inquired softly, "Natsu, how've you been doing?"  
>The fire mage didn't respond with much more than a blink.<br>Needless to say, it wasn't the reaction he had been hoping for, but he had to be patient. After thoroughly examining the torture chamber, he knew it would take time for Natsu to confront the horrors he'd been through and all the psychological damage he'd suffered. Makarov reached out and patted the boy's hand, but it was quickly drawn back under the covers.

Makarov berated himself; of course he wouldn't want to be touched, not after being abused for so long. He would have to be more careful from now on, the slightest thing could set Natsu off. He was lucky that time. Makarov tried again, "Natsu, how do you feel?"  
>Still no response, just a vacant stare directed at the ceiling. The old man looked to Happy and Lucy for assistance. They were the boy's closest friends, maybe they could break through to him. Happy stroked the rose locks, "Natsu, Master's talking to you." The blue cat had been very gentle and protective this entire time. Natsu looked over at Makarov, who smiled encouragingly.<br>His mouth opened as if to speak, but he shuddered instead, making a distressed face and turning his head aside. He faced away from them, towards Happy. Makarov decided on a new tactic. "Happy, see if you can get him to talk to you instead." The blue cat nodded and hunkered close to Natsu's face.  
>The old man decided it would be best to leave them alone for awhile.<br>He took Lucy's small hand and led her outside, into the hall. He closed the door behind him, leaving both parties in privacy. To be safe, they moved down a ways, and when they were out of earshot, Makarov turned to the girl. "There's something I want to talk to you about."  
>Lucy looked at him expectantly, most of the sadness gone from her eyes. There was determination in them now, she had been a member of Fairy Tail long enough to know what the Master's current tone implied. There was something important about to be said, and it obviously concerned Natsu.<br>She had decided, more than twelve hours ago, back in the cell, that she would do whatever it took to help.  
>The old man grinned inside,<em>"Natsu, you've found yourself a wonderful friend."<em> Makarov decided to keep that thought to himself for now, there was serious business to be discussed in the meantime.  
>He looked at Lucy again, "Before I say anything, I'd like Gray and Erza to hear this as well."<p>

* * *

><p>He told Happy he didn't feel like talking today, that maybe tomorrow would be better. Honestly though, he couldn't be sure. His head was cloudy with pain and distress from being moved. It would take time for him to get used to the new surroundings. He recognized Fairy Tail itself, but the large, Defensive areas of his mind would take time to convince. Everything was jumbled up inside his brain, he wanted to erect walls around himself and keep everything out. He wanted to be left alone yet held tenderly by someone at the same time. He was confused and exhausted and wanted nothing more than to sleep.<br>No talking, none today.  
>Thankfully, the blue cat respected his wish. Happy had brought him water, which he'd desperately needed, and often stroked his paws through Natsu's hair. The soft fur was a welcome sensation, a replacement for the cold metal and large, hairy hands he was accustomed to. The fire mage shuddered without warning. He squeezed his eyes shut and put up a wall against the memories threatening to come back.<p>

_Not today, not ever._

When Defense had shut these memories away, Natsu felt safe enough to sleep. Happy was by his side, and Lucy and Makarov were not far off. The fire mage closed his eyes and dozed off to the rhythmic stroking of his friend's paws.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Sorry for the long wait, I originally planned for this chapter to be released Wednesday night, but it was tough to write. The chap was being really difficult and hopefully that's the last of that! Thank you so much for all the wonderful reviews! They were so inspiring and I enjoyed reading them. There'll be a nightmare for the next chapter and things will start picking up; you'll learn more about what happened to Natsu and hopefully get a better glimpse of his current psych.**_

_**~Scyllia**_


	3. Nightmare

While the two of them ascended the stairs to the second floor, they wondered what Makarov had to say. The information they were about to receive was no doubt very important if the Master wanted to speak in private. Makarov was an open man, not one to keep too many secrets. But he was also smarter than he let on with his perverted, carefree attitude. The Master knew the significance of information and privacy, especially when it centered around his guild. The information Gray and Erza were about to receive, it would certainly concern Natsu, whatever it was.

The whole guild was on board for his recovery, willing to do whatever it took to get their little dragonslayer back. It was a collective goal, one that didn't need to be written down or spoken out loud. This resolve permeated the entire guild's atmosphere and shone brightly in each member's eyes. The shock of what'd happened hadn't worn off yet, but it couldn't hinder their determination for long. Fairy Tail was legendary for its devotion to the bonds of friends and family. And that's just what they are, a family.

So why was this meeting private? Shouldn't whatever information they found be shared with the rest of the guild? They wondered briefly if the Master didn't trust what he knew to everyone, but with a shake of their heads, the thought was dispelled. How foolish of them to think that! There was a rational explanation for all of this, and the pair was content to wait to hear it.  
>But they had to wonder, this news about Natsu, was it good or bad? This early in the game, it was up in the air, and the fire mage had given no recent indication that he was getting better. If they were to be realistic, things were actually getting worse. Not by much, but worse none the less. There were so many things that could, and probably would, go wrong.<p>

As soon as they reached the top, Makarov and Lucy were waiting for them. They all nodded solemn greetings to one another and looked to the old man as he began to speak.

"Lucy, Erza, Gray, there's something I wanted to discuss with you three."

"But why just us Master?" Gray interrupted, this thought had been nagging at him for too long, he had to know.

Makarov paused, looking a little distressed. He was going to have to choose his words carefully for this, especially now that tempers were strained by all that had happened.

"Because you three are Natsu's closest friends, and I've decided he is not fit to make important decisions for himself."

Although the statement was entirely true, it still made Gray angry to hear it. He didn't want to think of Natsu as some invalid who couldn't do anything for himself. A thought like that had never crossed his mind in all the years he'd known the fire mage. The untouchable spirit, the boundless courage and power would not allow him to entertain those thoughts. Natsu had always pulled through in the most impossible of situations; somehow. No one would have ever thought he could fall.  
>Ever.<br>To suddenly hear and know this as true was like a nightmare coming to life. His mixed feelings must've shown on his face, for what the old man said next was directed at him.

"I know, I don't like it either, but we have to face it. Right now, Natsu's psych is very damaged and unbalanced. It'll be up to us five to make the right decisions for his care."

Erza blinked, "Five?"  
>Currently, only four people were gathered here at this meeting.<br>Makarov cleared his throat,"Happy is included as well, but I've already talked to him about it."  
>The three mages nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing with that decision. Happy and Natsu had been through much more together than any of them could comprehend. They shared a powerful bond that would be an essential factor in the fire mage's recovery.<br>The old man's face looked even more anguished after sharing this. It looked like whatever he had to say next, he would have preferred to keep silent about. The mage trio couldn't help the dread that nestled between their ribs as the long pause continued. Makarov seemed to come back to reality and met their worried gazes once more, he tried hard to keep his voice even.

"Now, what I really wanted to discuss with you. . ."

* * *

><p>Natsu awoke in a fit of screaming that morning.<p>

He shot upright in bed, fighting against imaginary attackers. His limbs flailed wildly and his thin muscles were stretched taught. His screams were guttural and savage, like an animal struggling to avoid capture. The event took Happy completely off guard, for just minutes ago, Natsu had appeared to be sleeping peacefully. The blue cat tried as best he could to comfort the screaming mage, but his efforts weren't having much effect. In his dream-induced panic, Natsu was much stronger than his exhausted frame let on. And trying to force him back down to the bed only seemed to intensify his panic. He told the boy, over and over, that it was going to be alright, that this was just a dream, but his words couldn't reach him through the wall of screams.

Happy was thrown to the side as Natsu lurched forward.

The dragonslayer pulled his knees up to his chest and hid his face between them, clutching his hair in fistfuls. Happy picked himself up, more wounded emotionally than anything else. But he couldn't let these feelings dictate him. Natsu wasn't doing this of his own volition. His mind was badly damaged and he couldn't think clearly, much less distinguish friend from foe.  
>With these thoughts, Happy carefully approached the boy. The screaming stopped, but he knew better than to think Natsu was over it. He squatted in front of his head and tried to peer through the rose locks shielding his eyes. No success, he was effectively cut off from the world. This must be a defense mechanism his mind had put in place. Happy's heart sank to see his friend like this. Natsu was always so bright and strong and full of life, now he was weak and terrified. He looked small when he cried like this.<br>The blue feline blinked as he caught a faint mumbling leak out of the boy's hunched form. Even with his large cat ears, Happy had to strain to catch the broken statements Natsu made between sobs. "Don't touch me" and "Get away" were repeated often, along with more frightening things: "I'm not your whore" and a vehement, "%€#! you". Happy was too scared to try and make sense of these ramblings. His brain subconsciously locked these statements away, as he numbly decided that these were clues to his torture. Happy jumped as the door came open.

Lucy, Erza, Gray, and Makarov had entered the room, they must've heard Natsu's screaming. Said boy raised his head at the door's opening and looked at them. His eyes were puffy and red, a few stray tears making their way down his cheeks. Lucy carefully inched to his side, opening her arms to take him. Natsu lashed out as she came nearer, then growled, and finally flinched away before he gave up and let her hold him. He continued to cry; soft, anguished sounds that lilted across the room.

Makarov took Happy to the side and questioned him about what happened. "He had a nightmare," the cat said quietly,"that's all I really know."

Gray looked up at Natsu. He wondered how bad it must've been, to have reduced even a mage like him to tears. He blinked when the dragonslayer caught his gaze. All Gray could see was a bottomless pit of sadness and pain, and it tore his heart. Natsu continued to stare at him, and if it wasn't his imagination, the boy's eyes were getting bigger by the second. They were filling up with an unnatural fear.

A fear of _him_.

Gray tentatively reached out, wanting to ease the fiery mage, but the result was exactly the opposite. Natsu exploded in a flurry of limbs and blankets and fire.

"Don't touch me!" he screeched.

"Natsu I wasn't — !"

"Don't touch me!"

Everyone jerked to attention at the sudden outburst, Erza pulled a shocked Lucy out of range of Natsu's flames and Happy tried to calm the boy.  
>It was no use, he was completely out of his mind.<p>

"I'm not your whore! I'm not! I'm not! _I'M NOT!_"

Gray let himself be dragged out by Makarov, too overwhelmed to resist. Inside the room, Natsu was still panicking, although it was nowhere near as severe now. Erza left Lucy to Happy and carefully approached Natsu. He was staring around with wide eyes, more confused than afraid. He looked up at Erza, and all the fear disappeared from his gaze.

"I'm not his whore."

Titania swallowed stiffly and smiled, but it felt more like an awkward grimace. Her throat was dry and full of lumps as she tried to speak. "I know you're not," she managed.  
>Natsu accepted this with a beaming smile and curled back up in the sheets. He pressed his cheek to Igneel's dirty scarf and closed his eyes again, satisfied. He looked so pleased with himself, but Erza couldn't shake the sick, horrified feeling that short exchange had left her with. The Natsu she knew, would never say something like that.<p>

_"Natsu. . .just what _happened_ to you?"_

* * *

><p>"Surveillance Lacrima?"<p>

Makarov nodded to the blue cat standing before him. "They were downstairs in the chamber."

"But why did you take them?"

"Evidence."

Happy was taken aback by the Master's venomous tone. He'd never heard such a thing come out of Makarov's mouth.  
>"I want to see those &amp;%#$!* put to death for what they—" the old man stopped himself. Now was not the time to be loosing it, especially in front of Happy. The loss of his sanity would have to wait until he was alone. Right now, he had other priorities. And Natsu was topping the list.<p>

"Happy?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry to ask this of you so soon, but you realize Natsu is in no position to make good decisions for his health don't you? I want you to be someone who can make those decisions for him."

The cat's bottom lip trembled, he knew the truth, but he just wanted to deny it. Naively, he thought if he did, it might just go away. That Natsu would be back to himself by tomorrow. But that was just stupid and wishful thinking. Natsu was broken inside and out, and it would take a lot of time and proper care to even begin to break through to him. Time and care that Natsu could not get for himself. He would need his friends by his side at every moment. But, would that really be so bad? Happy realized with a start that this might be their chance to give back. A chance to repay him for all the times he'd come through for them. Wasn't it about time they came together and pulled _Natsu_ through for once?  
>Happy looked at Makarov with fists clenched and eyes firm with determination. "I'll do it."<br>The old man smiled, having watched the internal battle play out on the cat's face. "Now, you should get back to Fairy Tail as soon as possible, for your task starts today."

Happy nodded and unfolded his wings, taking off in the direction of their home guild.  
>Makarov watched him go, wishing him the best of luck. He himself of course would be helping make decisions for Natsu as well. The long road ahead was intimidating, he couldn't lie, but he was ready to walk it for any of his children. He took a deep breath and turned one of the Lacrima over in his wrinkled hands.<p>

He couldn't shake the feeling of dread he got whenever he read the scarlet words painted on it's surface:

_"To: Fairy Tail"_

* * *

><p>The nightmares started not long after he closed his eyes. It was only a dream, but it felt so real. He could feel the pain, smell the scents, and see everything as if it were happening right now. And to his broken mind, it was. To him, this fear was real.<p>

_Sharp splinters of wood in his back._

_He struggles, but his limbs are restrained by thick, leather straps._

_Being bound, being held down, his heart thunders as footsteps come toward him from the darkness._

_Panic._

_More struggling. More fighting._

_That same rhythm for six months straight. A deep, penetrating fear in his core._

_Sodom; wielding a rusty knife, his grin impossibly wide, and all his teeth filed to points._

_The tip of the steel runs down the skin of his bare thigh._

_"Don't," he whispers hoarsely. But the plea is lost on this demon. He howls with laughter, a hyena, tossing his head back and cackling to the darkness above._

_His face close to Natsu's, close enough to allow him to practically taste the tobacco on his breath._

_The boy's cheek, slit. Dripping blood, pretty red blood. Then lapped with slow flicks of a rough tongue._

_A shiver, up his spine._

_Whimper._

_Natsu squirms desperately, trying everything he can to escape the restraints. But the knife is at his thigh again, telling him to freeze._

_He obeys the knife._

_It is always better to obey._

_Better, but not always enough._

_Pain explodes inside him. It is everywhere, in all the forms he's felt: Teeth and claws of men, fire and steel from earth. Sodom curses at him over and over, in his face with cigarettes._

_Suddenly, darkness, and the pain stops._

_He can't see past it, but in the distance, a small, glowing ball of orange begins to shift around. Closer as the footsteps return._

_The voice in his memory is clear, "I wanna hear you scream little whore..."_

_The cattle iron shoves into his stomach._

_Agony._

_Flesh melting._

_A charred scent drifts up to accompany the tobacco._

_He struggles to hold it in, but as the prod twists he can't._

_Natsu screams as the skin melts off his body._

_Why? Why does fire hurt?_

_He coughs as a blow lands, and another, and another. Finally, the punches stop, but a rough hand entangles itself in his rosy hair._

_His face is forced upward, to look into the face of the man he fears most._

_Something is shouted, or rather, sprayed, but in the dreamy haze, the words are lost to the mist. Sodom, just shouting and spitting in his face, bits of tobacco hitting the mage in the eyes. Eyes that stare back lacking any emotion. Dissatisfied with the mage's performance, his head is thrown down and footsteps recede to the edge of the darkness._

_Sodom returns. In his hands: shackles, a whip._

_Natsu knows what is coming next._

_He's scared inside; he doesn't want that man's hands on him anymore. His breath in his face or his voice in his ears. He just wants the nightmare to end._

_No one cares about what he wants._

_He begs for no more,_

_But where is mercy_ _here?_

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: _****Sorry for the slowness in updating, been in Portland all this weekend and the hotel had no internet! Thank you to all the reviewers again! You guys make me laugh and me inspire me to keep going so much! It's truly a blessing to hear from you guys! I'm excited to write chapter four and hopefully I'll have an easier time with it. And just to be clear, the last section, the dream, happens before Natsu wakes up screaming.**

~**Scyllia**


	4. Scarf

Sunlight filtered through the curtains in watery beams, draping yellow stripes across Lucy's pale pink covers. Birds twittered outside without a care in the world, mocking her. Morning had come far too quickly for her liking. All she wanted to do was sleep, it felt like the best way to escape right now. Honestly, she didn't want to face today. Didn't want to face the broken shell. . . But a promise was a promise and honest mages didn't go back on their word.  
>Lucy rubbed her eyes and sat up, still in a dream-like stupor. Blinking a few times, the room came into focus.<p>

The empty room.

She remembered how Natsu and Happy used to barge in unannounced with beaming smiles on their faces. How they'd make themselves at home in her room, eat her food, dig through her clothes. . . How Natsu would always say he liked her house better than his own.  
>Everywhere she looked, a scene of her friends materialized:<br>the kitchen counter; Happy and Natsu fighting over what to have for dinner,  
>the table; a game of cards,<br>the bedroom; countless, unprepared-for sleepovers.  
>She tried to focus on those happy things in her memory, but her mind would not allow it. Lucy could only feel the loneliness now, of being the only person in this big, empty house.<p>

She even stared at the window for a time, hoping that someone would come through for her.

* * *

><p>Natsu perked up at the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs. Although the structure was located at the very end of the hall, he could hear every floorboard's squeak clearly. His hearing had grown quite acute over the sixth months he was away on. . .<p>

on. . .

a mission!  
>Yes that was it, he'd been on a mission for a whole five months! How exciting he thought to himself, but strangely, he couldn't remember much more than that. The details remained in a mysterious haze at the corners of his mind. What was the mission about? And how did he get so injured? Thinking about his wounds only made their aches worse. He felt sore and cold and <em>fragile<em>.  
>The fire mage suppressed a shudder, he didn't like that feeling. It was a vulnerable feeling, and one he liked to believe he'd never felt before. But a tiny, sarcastic voice in his head told him otherwise. It chided him for being so prideful in his false strength and told him to wake up and realize how weak he really was.<p>

Natsu grumbled to himself and shook away these thoughts, regardless of the pounding migraine it left him with. Instead, he focused on the pains of his body, for somehow, it was a lot less tedious than these mind games.

Natsu reached for his left leg, the greatest source of pain and gently brushed his fingers over the bandages and the swollen skin beneath. He flinched when even that light touch sent white hot needles up his thigh and into the base of his spine. He looked at Happy, sleeping beside him, hoping the sudden movement didn't wake the cat. He sighed in relief when the blue feline didn't so much as stir. He must have been exhausted, having watched over Natsu for days straight.  
>The fire mage couldn't help feeling a little bad at taking up so much of someone else's time. He recognized this bad feeling from somewhere. He'd learned about it on the mission, it was called 'guilt'. And he also remembered that guilt was accompanied by a mistake, and a mistake by punishment. This was the way of the world, and he had to obey. Someone had taught him this, but the name escaped his mind. He mentally shrugged it off, no matter.<p>

He decided to punish himself by touching the wound again. Natsu jabbed his thumb and forefinger against his thigh, eliciting more heated needles and a sharp cry, but pain wasn't the only reaction he got this time.  
>An image wove into his brain like threads attached to the needles. An image of musty darkness and a worn table. Rancid smells and uncomfortable sensations soon accompanied the scene. He remembered the prickle of splintered wood on his bare back and tough, leather restraints on his limbs. Panic, whom he was well acquainted with, rose in his throat as a rusty object was caressed against his left thigh.<p>

But the scene froze there, as if someone had pressed the pause button. He knew it had to be the Defensive part of his brain. Always protecting, always pitying him for something Natsu could not remember. His head began to ache as he struggled to replay more of the memory, but his brain tugged strongly in the opposite direction. Working through the pounding in his temples, he grasped the image and began to fight back. He wanted to remember, it felt like he had to, that someone, somewhere was encouraging him to do it. There was something crucial here that he had to know.  
>The scene began to focus again, but the door opened, giving the Defensive the distraction it needed to pull that memory out of reach. Before he could react again, the doors at the back of his mind were shut and locked tight. Natsu shouted in frustration, causing the figure in the doorway to flinch. He looked up at Lucy, his head cocked to the side.<br>Did he scare her?

* * *

><p>Lucy cautiously approached the boy, not wanting to elicit a frightened reaction. As soon as she'd entered, he'd given off a startling shout.<br>Was he angry?  
>Scared?<br>In pain?  
>Lucy searched his face for a hint, scared of what she might find. He was looking at her, but differently from yesterday. There was no anger or fear in his eyes today, only mild confusion. Lucy dared to feel a little hopeful at this and sat on his bedside. Natsu continued to watch her, his eyes wide and innocent, but still bloodshot and tired looking. The red tinge on his eyelids hadn't disappeared yet, making him look mentally unstable.<br>Lucy vehemently shook the thought away, she was supposed to have hope in her friend's recovery, not doubt the state of his mind. Since she had come in here, he had behaved with relative normalcy. Shouting, she reasoned, was something that came natural to Natsu.  
>Lucy smiled at the thought, prompting the fire mage to relax a little. It seemed positive reactions increased the boy's confidence, no matter what the situation. Lucy locked this piece of information away in her mind, there was no telling when she might need it.<br>To test this theory, she reached out to him, with her palm up and fingers relaxed. She wore the biggest smile on her face she could muster, even if it felt a little silly. Natsu calmly watched the appendage, a good sign.  
>But unfortunately, Lucy had not expected to get this far with her experiment, a mistake on her part. She wondered where she could touch the mage safely.<p>

Being a victim of brutal torture, it was no surprise he was afraid of physical contact. He'd spent the last five months suffering through every touch he received.

Lucy, although painfully so, was keenly aware that the slightest wrong move could send him into a panic. Lucy was suddenly drawn out of her deliberative thoughts when she felt something soft and cool in her palm. Her eyes focused to the present to find Natsu had placed his cheek in her hand, eliciting contact of his own free will. Lucy tried to contain her happiness lest she ruin the moment. The spirit mage smiled at him, just observing. His eyes were half closed and his body relaxed, she could feel the warmth of his breath on her wrist as well. The rise and fall of his chest was slowing with each moment and a faint smile had broken out on his face. Just when it looked like Natsu was about to doze off he sat up straight. Lucy was a little disappointed when his cheek left her hand, but she remained smiling and hopeful.

Maybe today would be better.

* * *

><p>"I want to go downstairs."<p>

Or it might crash and burn.

Lucy swallowed her surprise. She was taken off guard by the sudden request. All the things that could possibly go wrong flitted through her mind in a matter of seconds. This could be a disaster, but Lucy wondered if she even had the strength to deny Natsu's request.

Not when his eyes were shining so brightly with a determination much like his old self.

He wanted to take this step toward recovery, as much as Lucy did to.

But. . .

But. . .

The blond mage's voice shook as she addressed her injured friend, "Okay, we'll go together."

Lucy tried to focus on the beaming smile he wore as she helped him from the bed, not the little voice in her mind telling her how bad she was about to screw up.

* * *

><p>A hundred pairs of eyes locked on the two figures at the top of the stairs. Every guild member was glued to the scene as Natsu, their fallen comrade, struggled down the steps.<br>Lucy was by his side, a firm hold on his shoulder and waist. She was frowning in concentration, trying to ignore the so-obvious staring of Fairy Tail. She shouldn't feel so angry, it was normal for everyone to be concerned about Natsu. But the pity she felt in waves from them made her teeth grind together.

_"He doesn't need your pity!"_ her mind wailed,_"he needs your help!"_

Lucy snapped out of it as Natsu became stiff as rock against her. His eyes were wide to their limits, darting around the entire guild as he took in the faces watching him. Nervous panic rose up like bile in his throat, making it hard to breathe. He took little gulps of air as fast as he could, trying to inhale past the lump.  
>Halfway down the stairs at this point, he couldn't give up now! He was so close.<p>

Natsu's stomach - his empty stomach - flipped inside him, reminding the mage why he was doing this in the first place.  
>Something soft brushed the ragged skin of his arm. He turned to find it's source, "Lu-Lucy?"<br>The blond girl smiled gently and nodded to him. "It's alright Natsu, we're in Fairy Tail remember? These people are our friends."  
>That last word struck a nerve within him. His stomach stopped doing flips and a steady warmth billowed inside him.<br>Friend.  
>That word held comfort, promise. He repeated it to himself over and over, softly.<p>

Natsu decided to trust Lucy, she had proved herself so far anyway. He nodded and the pair resumed the long journey down the stairs. They made such slow progress because of the fire mage's injured leg. He could put even the slightest pressure on it, but still receive massive doses of pain.  
>He grimaced with each step, tearing Lucy's heart open further with each one. She wished she could do something to ease the pain.<p>

When they reached the bottom of the stairs, Lucy led him in the direction of the bar. It was more secluded than the long tables in the center of the hall, and would be much less stressful for Natsu's first outing into the guild. As they traversed the maze of tables, greetings floated up from every direction.

"Morning, Natsu!",

"What goes on Dragon Slayer?",

and,"How are you feeling, Dear?"

were just a few of the kind things spoken. When she caught the tentative smile on Natsu's face, Lucy was suddenly filled with an overwhelming sense of love for her guild. Through simple words they had already made a world of difference in the fire mage. He was no longer cowering in fear at every member, but actually interacting and standing a little straighter.  
>When they reached the bar, Erza was seated there, talking to Mirajane. The two women eagerly welcomed Natsu as he carefully took a stool beside Erza. Both were very mindful of his left leg. Lucy sat to the right of the fire mage and with both her and Erza on either side of him, he was well protected.<br>Mirajane's smile stretched from ear to ear, "What can I get you two?"  
>Natsu shrugged self-consciously so Lucy ordered for both of them. While the food was cooking, the three mages exchanged small talk. Or something resembling the like.<p>

"How are you, Natsu?" Erza asked gently.

Dark eyes blinked at the question. He looked conflicted, as if he were struggling to decide how to answer. "Kind of hurts, but. . .I'm. . .okay?"

Erza smiled warmly at the broken reply, doing a good job at hiding her sadness,"That's great." Natsu visibly relaxed at the praise.

"He's been doing really well today," Lucy cut in, "he's the one who suggested we come down here."

"Really? Well, I'm very proud of you Natsu."

Said mage seemed to glow at the kind words and his eyes lit up even further when Mirajane came back with the food. His stomach roared at the prospect of real meat, something he hadn't had in a long time. His mind began to wander as his body made the necessary moves to eat.  
>Actually, when was the last time he'd had <em>anything<em> to eat? Back on the mission, he had to have had something at least, but. . .  
>A memory was beginning to surface.<br>A memory in which he was cold and hungry - there was food, but lingering just out of reach. Someone was talking to him, giving him orders and stroking his flank like a dog. There were rules he had to follow if he wanted to eat, certain things he would have to do, certain things he would have to swallow. Unspeakable things.

Suddenly, nausea bloomed inside him like a poisonous flower. Natsu put the fork down as gently as he could, not wanting to make a scene. He had to appear normal, calm.  
>Stay calm.<br>The fire mage tried to choke down the piece of beef in his mouth. It was soft and squishy and warm. Panic flooded his senses as every fiber in his body screamed at him to spit it out. The texture, it was just like. . . like - Natsu gripped Igneel's scarf in his hands, pulling his tawny skin white around the knuckles.  
>No. . .He couldn't think of that now!<br>His body grew rigid as he tried to fight back the demons threatening the fragile grip he had on reality. The three women noticed his sudden change in behavior, but the fire mage was only dimly aware of his surroundings. He was completely consumed with the battle raging in his head. Even with him and the Defensive working together, the demons were powerful.  
>Erza was talking to him, only fragments of her voice reaching him through the foggy darkness. He caught the words 'scarf' and 'dirty', but had no idea what she meant. But he couldn't think about that now, his concentration, he had to -<p>

It all snapped when he felt the cloth torn from his grasp.

All he could think of was pain, pain in its most excruciating form being inflicted on him. Terror slammed into him from everywhere at once. A fear so powerful it overwhelmed his senses and set his nerves on liquid fire. Its powerful fingers wrapped around his neck and squeezed all the breath out of him in a mindless shriek. Overcome with panic, Natsu wasn't exactly sure _what_ he was afraid of.

But what he did know was that he wanted the scarf back.

Now.

* * *

><p>Erza flinched when Natsu let out a guttural roar and lunged for her. He was shouting a string of profanities she had no idea even existed. His fingers were curled like claws as he grappled for her in a blind, panic-induced rage. His eyes were unfocused but it was clear he had a target.<p>

Igneel's scarf.

As soon as the cloth left his fingers, the fire mage had gone into a frenzy. Erza had noticed it fisted tightly in Natsu's hands just moments earlier, covered in dirt. She'd asked him if he would mind if she cleaned it for him and when he didn't answer, she'd judged it as a yes.  
>Natsu bared his teeth and screamed again, but this time, instead of lashing out, he folded in on himself. His arms came up over his ducked head and he trembled, as if he were struck by some invisible entity.<br>Or afraid of _being _hit.

The guild had gone silent and were staring in a mixture of shock and horror. Natsu sobbed openly and clawed at his rosy hair in a vicious display of emotional agony.  
>Lucy's voice broke through his cries like a beacon, "The scarf Erza! Give it back to him!"<br>Too stunned to deny, Titania held out the ragged piece of cloth to the distressed mage. He snatched it from her and buried his tear-stained face in the folds. His cries stopped abruptly, finished by a contented sigh. Natsu rubbed his cheek against the fabric, completely unaware of the terrified guild members watching him.

"What are you all gaping at?"

A hundred pairs of eyes drifted to the new speaker. It was Makarov, standing on the railing of the second floor. His old face was stern, but behind it lay an expanse of grief and pain.

"Go back to your business," he commanded. The guild members complied, stunned into obedience. Conversations were forcibly picked up again and fake smiles were plastered all over.

Makarov passed the bar, "Take him upstairs."  
>Lucy's face burned with shame. This was all her fault. She never should have entertained Natsu's request to come down here.<br>He wasn't ready.

Lucy wished she had listened to the little voice in her head.

* * *

><p>"Makarov, can I talk to you for a moment?"<p>

The old man blinked and turned around, "What is it, Erza?"

The redheaded mage took a deep breath. She was still shaken from the morning's events, it had taken her all day to muster up the courage for this one request. Erza wasn't completely sure why either. Maybe because it concerned Natsu, and coming to the decision had forced her to think on him and his condition, which inadvertently brought up more memories of this morning. Erza shook her head to clear this muddy thoughts, hair whipping her face for added effect.

"I have a request. . . it's about Natsu."

"Go on," Ill-disguised hesitation.

Now or never.

"I think we need to take Natsu to a real doctor."

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I finally published it! Victory! But I feel so so bad about making you guys wait so long and I deeply apologize. It was just a bad timing for so many events and I hope I made up for it with this longer chapter. I've started on a newsletter-like thing for my profile page so if anything like this happens again, I will post the reasons for my slow updates there. The reviews I got were so lively and kept my confidence up, you guys are all so nice and patient! XOXOXOX's for you all! In the next chapter (I think it's that one, I'd have to check my notes) I'll reveal why Natsu freaked out about having Igneel's scarf taken. It goes much deeper than just him liking it. I'm going to be revealing more of what happened to Natsu as time goes on, and I'm pretty sure by chapter eight you'll know the full story.**_

_**~Scyllia**_


	5. Perceptions

Makarov had immediately declined. The answer was no.

* * *

><p>As she ascended the stairs, Erza couldn't quite place the feeling she was having. It wasn't fear or sadness, but it curled uncomfortably in her chest like a mix of the two. It made her nauseous and only grew with each step she took.<br>There were faint voices coming from the other side of the door when she reached it. Erza didn't have to look inside to know who they belonged to.  
>Lucy and Happy greeted the mage with forced smiles when she entered. They each held a fork and a small plate of food. It was easy to see that they were trying to coax it down Natsu's throat. Erza sighed when she saw the firmly set line of the Dragonslayer's mouth and the fullness of the plates. So he <em>still<em> had not eaten . . .

The incident with the scarf had happened four days ago and Natsu had seemed to shut down even further now. The news of his rapidly failing condition was all over the guild by now. He wouldn't eat, despite being eager to do so before. He seldom spoke either, although that itself wasn't a strange occurrence.  
>Natsu glanced up at her briefly from his hunched position in the bed. He remained blank, or, at least that's what Erza told herself. She attributed the flash of fear to her imagination.<br>Guilt joined the strange feeling in her chest. In a matter of seconds, it had swollen and overshadowed all other emotions. She couldn't help feeling responsible for this. Afterall, she had been the one to take the scarf. But that was also the reason she'd come here in the first place - to make things right. Erza quietly told the two to leave, fully prepared for how they'd react. Protests were forming on their lips, but her regular stern looks were enough to convince them otherwise. Their mouths closed, yet they didn't move from the bedside. Despite her trick not fully working, Erza felt a stab of pride for her comrades, they would not leave their injured friend's side so easily. The Titania's face softened and she nodded to them, hoping they'd understand what she wanted to do. Lucy and Happy looked to one another and a mutual agreement passed between them. It wasn't as if Erza was a danger anyway.

Right? Or so Erza had thought herself only days ago.

They left the room in silence.  
>Erza let out a breath and approached Natsu. She stepped quietly and in full view, anticipating any response she could think of. But he did nothing, save for glancing up at her and then looking back at the full plates. Erza put a gentle smile on her face when she sat down on the stool at his bedside.<br>"Are you hungry?"  
>Natsu nodded in response, which surprised the other mage greatly. If he was hungry, why didn't he eat? Erza picked up one of the forks and stuck a piece of food. It was steak, one of Natsu's favorites. She held the food to his face and his nose wrinkled briefly in response, like a child encountering spinach. He sniffed it then opened his mouth far wider than necessary, showing off pointed canines. Erza's smile grew with hopefulness, but as the food neared, Natsu suddenly drew back. His mouth snapped shut and he trembled, arms folded about his stomach.<br>Erza's heart plummeted. She'd been so close . . . What was she doing wrong?

"Natsu. . ." Erza placed her hand gently on the boy's knee. But she did not anticipate the frightened cry that erupted from his throat. The Dragonslayer flinched back, curling in small on himself. He gripped the scarf with white knuckles. Erza snatched her hand away, instantly feeling horrible. She apologized fervently, quelling the urge to reach out and touch him. It burned and tore her apart inside not to be able to. To just hold him and tell him everything was going to be alright. . .  
>The altercation had knocked the majority of the food to the floor and Erza thought it strange that the crash hadn't registered at all to her ears. Natsu slowly uncurled himself in the wake of her apologies. Although his expression held nothing, his dark eyes seemed to be trying to convey something. Was it forgiveness? Erza desperately hoped so, the last thing she'd wanted was to hurt him again. The armor mage reached for the unharmed plate and its contents. Although she still wanted him to eat, right now she needed something for her shaking hands to cling to. Natsu watched blankly, any previous glint in his eye had gone, leaving one to wonder if it had really been there at all. He was watching Erza from beneath his lashes and with a bowed head. It made him look submissive.<br>Erza reached out for his cheek without thinking, but she drew back when his eyes widened. "Sorry. . . I didn't mean to scare you."  
>Natsu blinked back to emotionless and looked out the window to a bird call. The sun was soft and pale outside, but it felt darker than a cave in this room. Erza sighed heavily. Just this morning she was feeling so determined to help Natsu, but now, not even fifteen minutes later, she was defeated. Erza stabbed a piece of meat with the fork. She felt frustrated. With Natsu and herself.<p>

Erza shook her head, berating that thought. What was she thinking? She couldn't be frustrated with Natsu. It was a miracle he was even here right now. The only one who deserved the feeling was Erza herself. She looked up as the covers shifted before her.  
>Natsu was looking at the skewered piece of steak expectantly. Erza forced a weak smile and raised the fork. Natsu's stomach growled as he took the meat in his mouth. He chewed slowly, excruciatingly so, but Erza was at the edge of her seat, praying he wouldn't spit it out. Natsu grimaced and trembled as he forced a swallow. He closed his eyes tightly, looking as if he were fighting someone, or something, for control. Erza cheered him on silently from the bedside.<br>Natsu's eyes opened. Then, he looked to Erza. Titania covered her shock, confusion, and a myriad of other emotions behind a smile. She praised the boy lavishly, but he didn't seem to notice how forced it was. Instead, he carefully took up the fork himself, his hunger newly ignited by the praise. Even though each bite was met with the same difficulty, Erza was too distracted to notice. She kept thinking of Natsu's reactions to food. He was obviously starving to death, so why wouldn't he eat? Her mind was desperately trying to piece together what could've possibly made Natsu - the boy who cleaned out the kitchen on a regular basis - afraid of food. There was no question that it had something to do with his. . ._Time_ with the unnamed Dark Guild, but Erza couldn't figure out much more than that. Or was it truly because she didn't want to think about it?  
>At the back of her mind, she wondered if it was her own fear stopping her from thinking to hard on it. What if the reason was too horrible for her? What if she couldn't handle it? No, she was sure she wouldn't be able to.<p>

Erza dropped her face into her hands, defeated once again. Suddenly, she felt something rest hesitant atop her hair. Erza raised her head. Natsu had put his bandaged hand awkwardly on her, trying to comfort her.

Natsu was trying to comfort _her_ of all , the boy who'd been kidnapped, taken to a strange guild, tortured for five months; whipped, burned, beaten, and God knows what else. This boy was trying to make her feel better.

Erza had never felt so sorry and selfish in her whole life. Tears began to drip down her cheeks and she wrestled violently with the urge to reach out and take this precious boy in her arms.  
>Natsu whined softly when he saw the tears. He looked confused and frightened. Somewhere behind the wall in his mind, he recognized what crying meant. Crying meant something was wrong, that something was hurting. He knew this from experience. He knew. And he did not like it, especially from Erza. Erza was too strong to cry.<br>Natsu reached out and clumsily brushed her tears with his fist, letting them soak into his bandages. He had to be fast, before the wall in his mind pushed him back again.  
>"Erza? No. . . No crying Erza."<br>Said mage nodded and choked back the rest of her tears, for Natsu.  
>"I'm fine really, sorry." She placed her hand on his, patting gently. Bless this boy.<br>Once her crying had stopped, Natsu's expression returned to careful blankness. The wall had returned once the threat had passed. Erza now felt much the same way he looked. She felt very calm now, safe almost. The armor mage continued to pat the bandaged hand, almost unable to contain the spark she'd felt when Natsu had spoken. So there _was_ hope then. Erza resolved to keep trying.

She glanced at the plate, and found, sadly, that Natsu had only managed to eat two pieces of meat. Another sigh escaped the armor mage's lips. Half of her mind - the naive half - wondered why this was so hard. Wondered why it just couldn't _be. Fixed._ She wanted it to end. She wanted Natsu to go back to his usual self right now.  
>But the mature half of her subconsciuos viciously berrated the other.<br>It was utterly foolish to think that after five months of the horrors the boy experienced that he could just go back to normal. Idiocy. Erza moved seamlessy into a focused mindset at that moment. She watched Natsu closely, suddenly feeling it was imperative that she find the cause behind his fear of food. What traumatic event was he attributing to the substance? She had to approach this carefully.

"Natsu? You must be hungry, right?" Said mage just nodded and continued to push the steak pieces around the plate.

"Can you tell me why you won't eat then?"  
>Natsu began excessively rubbing his stomach with one hand, looking as if he might throw up. Erza located the waste bin just in case.<p>

"Does the food hurt your stomach?" Maybe his system wasn't ready to handle it yet. But Natsu offered no affirmative response, instead, choosing to clench his shirt. Erza decided that must not be the case, Natsu had no previous problems in telling them what part of his body was hurting.  
>The armor sighed and rubbed her head in defeat. After racking her brain, she could honestly think of nothing else. No other reason stood out to her as to why he would he give up food.<br>Suddenly, the Dragonslayer's eyes softened and a massive yawn escaped him. He settled back in the covers and blinked sleepily at Erza before closing his eyes. The armor mage smiled despite herself and hesitantly reached out to stroke his rosy hair. He didn't respond negatively, so she continued.

Erza sighed. Sometimes, it was exhausting how quickly Natsu's moods changed. It wasn't healthy, neither for him or his caretakers. Erza nearly scoffed at herself. Caretakers. They had no idea what they were doing. For all they knew, they could be making things worse. . .

* * *

><p>It was easy to tell that they were wondering. They may think that he is. . . Has become. . .<em>Incapable<em>. But that is far from the truth. He is merely trapped. Trapped and too exhausted to fight for long. His opponent - the wall - is impenetrable, built higher and thicker than he would've thought possible. His mind is just damaged. It was smashed and wrongly repaired. Put back together in just the way Sodom saw fit. Igneel's scarf was merely his tool. Somewhere excruciatingly deep, Natsu's subconscious knew why he was so attached to the cloth. Of course, it was his father's gift and the last memory he had of him, but Sodom. . . That man had twisted its meaning to something sickly sweet:

Safety.

Simply put, Natsu's mind was made to believe that the presence of the scarf meant safety and freedom from pain.  
>The dragonslayer began reliving memories at the middle ground of his mind, behind the wall, but before the subconscious. It was a place where his muddled memories became jumbled and confused. He remembered the men ripping the scarf from his hands, beating him, and then giving it back. When the scarf was returned, the pain stopped. Or rather, dulled significantly. Natsu was left in relative peace during the times he held his scarf. This cycle continued, thievery and torture, for the entire five months. It was a cruel trick played on his mind. And it worked.<p>

* * *

><p><em><strong>Look who's back y'all! Wooohoooo! School's out and updates are in order :D<br>This chapter was fighting me the whole way up till Natsu's POV in the end. Needless to say I'm happy it's out of the way and I think I'm gonna have fun writing chapter 6. Thanks to everyone who's stuck with me and my lack of updates, I probably deserve to be slapped! **_

_**~Scyllia**_


	6. Revelations

Erza marched confidently in the direction of Makarov's quarters. It was clear to every guild member that she was on a mission, and from the look on her face, there was no stopping her. Her armored footsteps could be heard ascending the staircase and she stopped before a pair of large, double swung the them open gently, after all, it wasn't her intention to intimidate anyone.  
>For a brief moment, Erza thought how ironic that was. She had gotten through most of her life trying to intimidate others to get what she wanted, to make them take their minds away from how weak she really was. The room was dim when she entered, partially lit only by a small opening in the curtains. Makarov was sitting at his desk in front of the window, looking over some papers. He raised his head as Erza entered, and the latter was startled by the dark circles beneath his eyes. His brow also seemed to have gathered more wrinkles recently. Erza felt a sudden sympathy for him, he thought of the guild members as his own children, she couldn't imagine how he must feel. But that made her case all the more relevant. This was for Natsu's own good.<br>Her mouth opened to speak, but Makarov's hand flew up before she could form even a word. "If this is about the issue you were discussing earlier - about the doctor - then you don't need to worry." The confusion was evident on Erza's face,"What are you talking about, Master?"  
>The old man met her gaze, for he had had his eyes closed, there was a strange glint in them now. The spark of a man who had chosen his battle and won.<p>

"I've already called the best I know."

* * *

><p>Happy stifled a sneeze as yet another lock of hair invaded his nose. He pawed the soft, tickling substance away from his face, but he wasn't the least bit irritated by this frequent occurrence. It was a small price to pay to be closer to Natsu.<br>Nestled in his best friend's hair, every breath drew in a fresh wave of his scent. Faintly like charcoal or smoke, but laced with something Happy could only call freedom. Natsu smelled of adventure, of the wild places of the earth. Something romantic in the deepest sense of the word.  
>Here, amongst the rose locks there was no ugly stank of the prison cell that clung to the rest of his body. There was no smell of fear so uncharacteristically like his friend. Every untainted breath reassured Happy that this was indeed Natsu, satisfying a primal need the Exceed had that no doubt linked to his animal origins.<br>Happy gently nuzzled into the boy's hair as he slept. It was a rare moment of peace for the two of them these days, and the cat was infinitely thankful. Here, Happy could pretend that everything was alright.

It was then that the door just had to swing open.

* * *

><p>Three mages entered the room at that moment: Makarov, Lucy, and . . . an old woman?<br>Faint irritation was still present in Happy for having his time with Natsu interrupted, but it diffused into pure shock as he recognized the third visitor. He'd seen that long pink hair and red dragon cloak before.

"Porlyusica!" he exclaimed breathlessly.

She nodded to him and the cat's chest surged with hope as a smile broke out equally on his face. This old witch was known as one of the greatest healing mages in all of Fiore. She would definitely help Natsu, she had to. Happy's tail began to swish with so many emotions he couldn't possibly name them all. Yet each was mirrored in Lucy's eyes and determination occupied their elders'. Everyone was harboring the same goal.

"Thank you for showing me here, Makarov. You may leave now." Porlyusica strode forward as she spoke, having thrown the words over shoulder.  
>Makarov stuttered indignantly; Porlyusica had always been a gruff woman, but this was too far. The old guild master felt he had a right to be here as much as anyone. This boy was like his own child to him!<br>But the woman had locked eyes with Makarov before he could really protest. There was no sternness or anger though, but rather something unnamed. Her gaze seemed to say, "You don't need to see this."

Her intentions were made clear, and despite his misgivings, there was no arguing with the old woman. With forced steps, Makarov resigned quietly out of the room. Porlyusica turned back to the sleeping Natsu, not meeting the gazes of the other occupants.  
>"This is hard enough for him as it is. There is no need for him to stress further about it by being here." Her voice was level, but only a farce.<br>Lucy nodded in understanding, but she thought to herself that maybe Porlyusica just couldn't stand to see Makarov grieving. Even so . . .

"Excuse me, Miss Porlyusica, but why did you ask me to come along?" It wasn't that Lucy didn't want to be here, there could be no mistake about that. Yet she couldn't help but wonder as to why she – who had no medical experience whatsoever – would be asked to assist.  
>The woman turned,"Silly girl," she berated,"I am well aware of the bond you and Natsu share. You are friends are you not? You and the cat are the most worthy members to aid in his recovery."<br>Lucy felt a twinge of pride at her words, however gruff they were, but it was a pride soft and slightly bittered by the situation.

Porlyusica turned to Happy and inquired of his name, to which he answered and was given the task of waking Natsu. The cat hesitated for a moment before gently pawing at the boy's face. Natsu smiled at the tickling sensation of fur on his cheek.  
>Lucy failed to stifle her giggle at the scene and Natsu's eyes opened. He rubbed at his eyes groggily before looking up at them with an alarmed expression on his face. The Dragonslayer calmed almost as quickly though when he recognized the occupants. There was only warranted confusion left on his features. Lucy sat on the mattress while Porlyusica took the seat at the bedside.<p>

"You remember Porlyusica right, Natsu? She's here to treat you."

"She'll make the pain go away," Happy added softly.

The fire mage inclined his head in some semblance of a nod, accepting his best friends' words without any trouble. Relief was flowing into muscles Lucy didn't know had been tensed. She'd been worried about his reaction upon so many people suddenly being in the room. But he'd exceeded all her expectations and remained calm, and for that, Lucy was thankful. Now, if only it would last. She was all too aware of how quickly his mood could change.

Happy helped Natsu to sit up and the blankets fell away from his bandaged torso.  
>Porlyusica's brow twitched downward for a moment, and Lucy thought grimly that she hadn't seen anything yet.<p>

The old woman turned to the spirit mage and addressed her instead of Natsu. "Makarov has informed me completely of the boy's situation." She said nothing more on the subject, but Lucy knew what was being left unsaid: That Porlyusica had chosen this and that she promised to do her best.

Lucy gave a firm nod, "I understand."  
>Porlyusica chose not to respond and asked Lucy to remove Natsu's bandages. The blond mage understood her reasoning and began gently unwrapping her and Erza's work. The bandages pooled on the floor like ribbons lightly patterned with blood.<br>Natsu's injuries were once again put on display. Lucy was suddenly reminded of the first day she'd found Natsu. The wounds had looked much worse then, but it was still jarring to see them once again. She'd gotten used to the creamy white bandages as of late.

Scabs had barely formed and they were flaky at best. The nutrition they had managed to force down his throat was not nearly enough. Lucy sighed heavily, not even watching for Porlyusica's reaction. She touched Natsu's cheek gently, just looking at him for a moment.  
>He pressed closer almost imperceptibly.<br>Her hero, her best friend, and now her patient. So many thoughts and questions tumbled over each other for address when she looked into his black eyes. Eyes that used to stare back with pure confidence and inspiring strength.  
>Lucy forced these bittersweet memories away and took the blanket off the rest of his body.<p>

Natsu shivered at the sudden cold air, so Happy took the blanket and draped it over his shoulders. The celestial spirit mage gently patted Natsu's knee as she undid the thick wrappings of his left leg. She was being incredibly careful doing so. The wound beneath was hideous and extremely sensitive to almost any touch, regardless of pressure.  
>Lucy was determined not to cause any more discomfort; he didn't need it. The blond thought bitterly that any pain the Dragonslayer felt wasn't necessary. He didn't deserve any of this, none at all.<br>Lucy took a deep breath, suddenly mindful of Porlyusica's reaction.  
>She didn't want the old woman to see her lose herself to her anger. Lucy would save that once again for the times when she was alone in her apartment.<p>

The bandages fell away and the old woman's eyes became wide with horror. Her previously schooled expression became flooded with sick disbelief. Her eyes raked along the full length gash that had utterly failed to heal. It had to be at least an inch deep and was infused with all different shades of red and pus of a sickly yellow. Without her permission, thoughts began to run wild.  
>She could see the boy's leg being ripped open, she could hear him scream, and feel the heat of fresh blood. She would've vomited, right then and there, if she had not been somewhat used to things like this.<p>

And some had the nerve to wonder why she detested humans so much. It was because they did things like this to each other without a second thought. Because they took pleasure in causing pain and instilling fear into their own kind.  
>They were all wolves.<br>Vicious, hateful, and selfish. They wanted what was best for them and would step over anyone just to get it. And for what?

They all die in the end.

Yet she made it her job to heal them. The very creatures she so despised.  
>She was a walking contradiction.<p>

"Um, Porlyusica?" Happy's child-like voice derailed her train of thought and she realized she'd been glaring hard at the injury. Porlyusica quickly recovered her composure and rolled up her sleeves. "It is time to get work. Lucy and Happy, I want you two to keep him as calm and still as possible."  
>A worried shadow crept over Happy's face at those words,"I thought you were going to use magic to heal him." Such a technique should cause minimal pain at the very least.<br>Porlyusica sighed, but the irritated tone she was aiming for didn't quite make it through. She didn't like explaining herself, preferring instances when others would just take her word for it or do as they were told. Nevertheless, these two deserved an explanation. "I am a doctor before a mage now, I have to know what it is that I'm treating. I'll need to run a few tests first."  
>The phrase conjured a large number of medical machines to Lucy's mind, but there were none to be found. Porlyusica had arrived with only her hands and a first aid kit, although the latter was admittedly large.<p>

Lucy moved away from Natsu's leg as the old woman stood and came forward. She directed the blond to sit towards the head of the bed and be prepared for anything. The statement filled Lucy with equal parts dread and determination.  
>Natsu leaned back against her shoulder as soon as she'd seated herself and Happy stood opposite Porlyusica on the bed, at attention.<br>The woman drew a pair of thin gloves from her kit and pulled them on. She asked Natsu to open his mouth, which he did so without issue. Porlyusica looked inside, unsurprised with whatever it was she saw. The old woman moved on and examined the wound that wrapped around Natsu's neck. Her brow wrinkled, "What was this?" The question was blunt, but Lucy knew exactly what she was asking.  
>The blond mage unwillingly thought back to the second gruesome wound. "They'd had a collar on him. It was made of barbed wire."<p>

And that was all she wanted to say on the subject.  
>Thankfully, Porlyusica did not inquire further. Instead, she wrapped her old fingers around his arm and pressed gently at his shoulder, rotating it. Natsu's face wrinkled up, but he made no noise.<br>Porlyusica gathered three things from this: Natsu's joints were stiff with disuse, he had an infection-borne fever, and that he was determined not to show weakness.  
>The second she had deduced from the unnatural heat of his skin. Her tests continued as she took his pulse and had him perform some breathing exercises. The rattling in his chest and his sore ribs did not go unnoticed. The old woman also took a large amount of time to poke at his back, or at least, that's what it looked like to Lucy. But the girl couldn't boast of the medical prowess the other had. So she trusted the old woman and continued to run her fingers through Natsu's rosy hair.<p>

Porlyusica was looking for damage to the boy's spine, but thankfully, the injuries to his back were strictly confined to his skin. She stepped away for a moment to allow Natsu to straighten up before she performed her final check on his abdomen. The old woman had been informed of the Dragonslayer's poor eating habits prior to her visit, but it was easy for her to discern it herself upon seeing him. He was sickly thin.  
>Porlyusica took her first two fingers and pressed them to Natsu's stomach, searching for any swelling or abnormalities. She found none.<br>_"Strange. . ."_  
>The old woman had suspected something like a tumor or soreness to be the cause of his lack of interest in food. But Natsu's absence of any reaction said otherwise. He looked around for the most part, only glancing over in mild interest every once in awhile. It was almost eerie how calm he had been throughout this entire procedure.<br>With a mental sigh, Porlyusica reminded herself that every victim's case was different. And with that, she dispelled that line of thought and continued her test.

As soon as her fingers pressed beneath his navel, Natsu's body tensed.  
>Like a switch had been flicked, his full attention was on her at that moment. It was so abrupt and of place that the other two in the room were instantly aware of it as well.<br>Natsu had fixed Porlyusica with a hard, challenging stare. But it was the faint trace of fear that caused the elderly woman to withdraw her hand. His body slowly relaxed and the angry look on his face all but completely dissolved. Lucy rubbed Natsu's shoulders and was whispering comforting words that escaped the old woman's hearing.

Porlyusica sat back in the chair, her mind buzzing with new information. It was her observational skills that helped her become the gifted doctor she was. With a unique ability to draw accurate conclusions from very little information, Porlyusica set herself apart from the other witches and wizards in her field. And it was time now to draw on that talent.  
>She pulled in parts of her memory - little tidbits that were scattered all over - into one place. Everything concerning Natsu: All the observations she'd made, the strange behaviors she'd heard from others, her own medical knowledge . . . they all pointed to one thing. Something unspeakable that made her hatred of humans boil and put on new strength.<br>A bane of society.  
>The pieces were assembled, all that was needed was a thread of proof to tie them all together. Porlyusica dreaded finding it.<br>But the deed needed to be done.  
>The old woman looked over at the trio and couldn't help but feel a rush of pity for them. They were just kids, kids about to be thrown into a world of unspeakable suffering, about to be thrown into the very darkness of humanity. She couldn't let that happen, at least not yet. Let them have a few more moments of relative innocence.<p>

"I'll need you two to leave the room now."

Two pairs of eyes immediately snap to hers in disbelief. Both of them shouting so many disagreements that it was impossible to tell what was actually being said. But Porlyusica was not the least bit fazed, she stared them both down with a hard gaze she'd been perfecting for years. It was not up for debate.  
>Happy burrowed himself closer to Natsu, while Lucy engaged in a stare-off with the elderly woman.<br>She didn't want to leave now, she couldn't! Natsu needed her.

The Dragonslayer squeezed her hand.

Lucy squeezed back.

The old mage blinked slowly, the angry wrinkles on her forehead disappearing as her gaze softened. "I promise I will fill you both in later, but I need to do this by myself. Please understand, it is for everyone's benefit."  
>Lucy was taken aback by the sudden change in demeanor, and it dampened her resolve. The blond mage was well aware of Porlyusica's abrasive personality and she was ready to deal with it, but this. . . this was unexpected.<br>Happy sensed the change and looked up from Natsu's side. He glared long and hard at the old woman, the wheels in his mind turning. Porlyusica did not give in easily, she was used to arguing with Makarov, and winning too. The Exceed also couldn't deny how skilled she was in the area of medicine, magical and non. Despite the conflicting feelings he had, he'd promised Makarov, back in the chamber, to commit to making the best decisions for Natsu's care. And right now, the best decision would be to respect whatever it was Porlyusica asked of them.  
>Happy completely uncurled himself and unfolded his wings, gliding over to Lucy and taking the hand that wasn't connected to Natsu's.<br>The blond broke her gaze with the old woman to look down at him.  
>He nodded to her, hoping this single gesture would convey what he wanted, since he didn't trust himself to speak right now. Lucy's entire face portrayed her shock as she realized what the cat was asking of her, but she swallowed her misgivings and followed Happy out of the room.<p>

"I'll hold you to your promise."

The words were spoken quietly, but the conviction in them made it sound as if Lucy had shouted.

* * *

><p>Natsu sadly watched his friends go out the door and shut it behind them.<br>He didn't want them to leave, why couldn't they stay?  
>It was all that old woman's fault.<br>She told them to go.

The Dragonslayer fixed the old mage with a glare, but was met with careful blankness in return. Porlyusica had said nothing in response to Lucy's parting message, only watched Natsu's reactions carefully. She had wanted the other two out of the room in case her suspicions were to be confirmed, which she knew they were. But somewhere in the back of her mind, there was always the smallest chance that she could be wrong. Her naivety clung to the hope that it was all just a big mistake. She wanted it to be; although it would make her job a bit harder, it was a small price to pay. Yet Porlyusica knew she was right, all the signs pointed in that direction. Everything rational she had ever learned, all her observations, and brutal intuition told her the cold, hard truth.

Porlyusica was no therapist, but she had a vague idea of how to approach the subject. But maybe it was her unwillingness to know the truth that made it so hard for her to broach the subject.  
>Forcing Natsu to confront these memories could bring out a variety of outcomes. In the short term, none of them were pleasant. He could act out, putting himself and others in danger. He could pull in to himself even more, hiding away.<br>Porlyusica wasn't sure which one was worse.  
>But in the long run - to heal him - it would prove invaluable.<p>

The old woman sighed heavily before making her move. Porlyusica laid her gloved fingers on Natsu's stomach, causing the young mage to tense once again. But this time, he squirmed away from her.

"Natsu, what's wrong?"

"Don't touch me," he grunted.

"But why not? Tell me why."

The old woman knew perfectly well why he didn't want to be touched, but the Dragonslayer needed to come out and say it. He needed to address the fact that he had been tortured for five months and that certain things reminded him of that time. Her approach might have seemed harsh, but truthfully, that was the only way Porlyusica knew how to approach anything. And it seemed to work for the most part.  
>But Natsu was so much more different than any other patient she'd ever had. Never had she treated a mage as untouchable as he who had fallen into this state. It was unheard of, and a testament to the brutality that had been inflicted on him.<p>

Natsu stared at the woman, although his gaze itself seemed to be elsewhere. Porlyusica guessed that he was either remembering, or simply thinking of what to say.  
>Natsu trembled at the memories that were surfacing. The Wall was down for now, his defenses sleeping in the wake of having his friends around him. The people he trusted. But now, they were gone, and it was only a matter of time. . .<p>

The Dragonslayer struggled to pick out something from the haze of images; he wanted to remember. He hated being left in the dark and being the subject of pity by his own mind. He was strong, he could handle this! He just needed a chance.  
>Porlyusica was aiming to give him that chance.<br>Natsu squeezed his eyes shut, focusing all of his energy on grabbing one memory in the storm. He reached out and seized an image, pulling it to the forefront of his mind, well out of reach of any Defensive areas. Here, he could see it all in stunning light and detail, almost as if he was there now. Natsu shuddered as he watched, knowing that he _had_ been there.

_A man is standing above him, he reeks of alcohol and tobacco. The man is screaming horrible things in his face, jerking on the chain that pulls the wire in his neck. Somewhere, outside his mind, the wound throbs faintly at the memory. The man - he knows his name, it's written deep. The man – Sodom – curses at him, calls him weak and useless and filthy. He uses words that Natsu has never even heard before this. "You %& #$ piece of garbage! Look at me when I talk to you little whore! But he can't look, the pain in his neck is too great._

Porlyusica watches the sick, frightened expressions play out on Natsu's face as he remembers. It pains her, somewhere deep inside, to have to make him do this, but she tells herself over and over that it is for his own good.  
>"I'm not a whore," he murmurs.<br>Porlyusica forces on a brave face, keeping her voice level,"Who called you a whore?"

_Natsu trembled at the memory of hands. Large, calloused, and hairy hands. Sickly warm hands that travel down his body in mock tenderness. Leaving a trail of shame and worthlessness in their wake. __He is shoved to the ground, and Sodom looms over him. The Devil's grin is plastered on his face. His hair is fisted roughly at the roots and his face slammed into the stone floor. Sodom's weight crushes him against the rock, rock slick with his own blood._

The Dragonslayer's body was shaking harder now as he plunged deeper into the memory. "Stop, stop it. Don't touch me, stop. Stop, please. Stop it," he was chanting now, "stop. Sodom, please stop. Don't touch me. . ."

_He tried not to cry at the horrible things being done to him; at the hands, mouths, and God knows what else carressing his body._

She was losing him, and quickly, to the memories. He was reliving them now, not just simply remembering anymore.

_Then he stopped struggling and lay limp, trying to pretend that it wasn't what it was. That he wasn't being touched this way; not by Sodom._

"Natsu, did he. . ?" Porlyusica couldn't bring herself to finish the question.**  
><strong>

* * *

><p>It couldn't have been more than five minutes until Lucy sat down that a set of footsteps approached her. She would've guessed Happy, but the steps were too heavy, and the cat had left to inform Makarov of Porlyusica's progress.<p>

Lucy pulled her head up from its resting place on her knees. Blinking her eyes into focus, she was met with the image of a certain shirtless mage.

"Gray, where are your clothes?" Her voice had a hint of playfulness underneath the fatigue, since she knew it was pointless to ask. The ice mage muttered a curse under his breath, but didn't seem very fazed. That was what most of the guild had been reduced to lately. Faking normal behaviors in an attempt to feel just that – normal.

"Let's get some fresh air."

Lucy looked up at him in mild confusion, "What?"

"It's too stuffy out here, so let's go outside."  
>His voice was sincere, but Gray's eyes betrayed an ulterior motive. He looked like he wanted something. Lucy nodded and stiffly got to her feet, descending the stairs and following Gray out the front entrance. They stood in silence for a moment, enjoying the cool evening air. It was Lucy who spoke first, "So, what did you want to ask me?"<p>

"It's about Porlyusica. Has she. . .gotten anywhere?" Gray struggled to form the question with the right words, but Lucy knew exactly what he was asking for.  
>She sighed. "To be honest, I'm not really sure. She's. . .examining him right now."<br>Gray looked at her imploringly, wanting to know why she wasn't in the room with them.  
>Lucy declined to answer that unspoken question. Instead, she avoided the ice mage's gaze by looking off into the street. Some of the townspeople were mingling about, making late night purchases and chatting about their days.<br>Lucy blinked as she spotted a familiar face among the crowd. Her landlady was approaching with the typical, shuffling way about her. The blond mage smiled in acknowledgement and politely asked how the woman was doing. She answered with an empathetic ''Fine'' and inquired to how Lucy was feeling as well. _"If only she knew,"_ Lucy thought. But instead, she said she was doing well. What a lie.  
>The woman seemed to be satisfied and moved off, but when she had gone some way down the street, she stopped. Turning back, the woman shouted,<p>

"Don't forget that rent's due next week!"

Lucy felt a cold pit drop into her stomach.

She had completely forgotten. How long had it been since she'd been on an actual mission? A good few weeks at least. The thought of getting a job had completely slipped her mind. She'd been too busy worrying about Natsu, and, once they'd finally found him, she had spent most of her time in the room with him.

_Natsu._

The pit grew colder. She would have to leave him.

"Lucy? Are you alright?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: Yisss, Chapter six is complete my lovelies. It is titled as such because a lot of things are revealed to the characters. All of your reviews make me such a happy person! Everyone's so nice and enthusiastic, it really does make my day! And to top it all off, almost a hundred reviews! And hugemongous thanks to Starkiss666 for reminding me about Lucy's rent and giving me a really good idea! 3  
>Oh, and since there was some confusion with the last chapter, this is definitely a NaLu fic. Even though I'm not really focusing too hard on pairings for this story in particular (But I've recently gotten some good ideas for fluff between them for later chapters fufufuuuu). I also reread the story from the beginning and found some typosdiscrepancies (made me so mad! (but they're fixed now)). One last thing, did you know one of the definitions for romantic is "imbued with or dominated by idealism, a desire for adventure, chivalry, etc." ? That's where I got the idea with Happy's little part. And I've been neglecting my poor babuu Gray! He'll be getting his own chapter with Natsu soon enough. Hmm, I think that's all I have to say for now. . .**_


	7. Spellcast

She put him to sleep not long after that. It became clear that Natsu wasn't going to calm down, in fact, he only got worse. The boy retreated further and further into his own mind as the ramblings went on. It was as if he were living in a different reality, completely, mentally cut off from everything around him. Porlyusica knew she couldn't let this go on. She had no idea what the consequences would be if it did, but they wouldn't be good. The old woman knew she had to end it.

A soft glow appeared at her fingertips, yellow in color. She pressed the sleep spell to Natsu's forehead and he dropped back into the pillows. His eyes fell shut and the pleading chant ceased.

The room was eerily silent now.

Porlyusica sighed heavily; she knew going into this that the job would not be simple, but she never could've anticipated the sheer strain of the task ahead. The old woman would have to use some of the most powerful magic in her arsenal to break through to the boy's mind. She might be here for quite awhile, and the thought disturbed her. She couldn't stand being among so many humans for so long, it was the whole reason she'd moved into the forest to live in solitude. She knew it was selfish to think that, especially in the current situation. But she'd spent her whole life this way, it was hard to feel bad about it now. Yet, when she looked at the boy's sleeping face - twisted with pain, scarred and so, so young - she felt . . . guilty? She wanted to help the Dragonslayer; and if she didn't, her conscience would never recover.

The boy shifted in his sleep, whining softly. Porlyusica looked down; the sheets were bunched at his waist, making all the wounds on his upper body stand out. Lucy had removed the bandages earlier to allow the old woman to inspect the damage. Secretly, she was thankful that they had already bathed the dirt off the boy's body, for she had not been eager to see the full sight that had so horrified Makarov. But even without the filth coating, Natsu's wounds were sadistically impressive: Large, red, and badly infected. It was a miracle he had lived through it all, a testament to the strong will he still possessed. Although, if these wounds persisted, he may not be alive for much longer.

Well, that would give her something to do for now. But deep down, Porlyusica knew she was just using it as a distraction. In truth she wanted to put off the difficult spell she'd have to perform for as long as possible. She'd have to have the perfect conditions as well, if it backfired, the results would be horrifying. Besides, healing Natsu's wounds would do him a world of good; and he may even become more open if all that constant pain were to disappear.

With this in mind, Porlyusica went to work.

* * *

><p>Lucy stared off in a daze, the events of the evening playing through her mind in an endless cycle. It was pure torment. All she had done was go outside to try and clear her mind, but instead, a whole new problem decided to rear its ugly head. Her rent was due in exactly seven days from now and there was no way she could come up with 70,000 jewels in that time. Lucy let her head sink to the table in defeat.<p>

It wasn't necessarily the fact that she _couldn't_ do it so much as she didn't want to. She was emotionally unable, not physically. It was the unbearable thought of having to leave Natsu that made the task so impossible. It made her sick to think on it too long; so she didn't, lest she vomit in front of the ice mage who sat across from her at the table.

"Lucy?"

His voice broke through the nauseating haze of her thoughts and she raised her head, fixing him with eyes that made it all too obvious how little she'd slept last night.

"You alright?"

The stellar mage nodded slowly, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Wow it sure was easy to lie.

Gray blinked knowingly and averted his gaze to something in the distance. He seemed deep in his thoughts all of the sudden and Lucy was stung with bitterness at the scene. If Natsu were here, he would've made some sarcastic quip as to how Gray couldn't possibly think deeply. And they they would all laugh and the two mages would pretend to fight. Erza would appear and break them up, only to receive a spirited challenge from the Dragonslayer. Then Lucy would drag him away before he got too wound up and instead, they would pick a request - together.

_She missed him so much_.

It wasn't until her bottom lip began quivering that Lucy was aware of the tears slipping down her cheeks. Startled, her gaze flashed to the ice mage, but he was still looking off somewhere else. She tried to wipe the tears discreetly, even feigning a yawn as she rubbed at her eyes. Lucy sighed once the tears had gone and put her head back on the table.

But Gray had seen everything, and her tears were an outside reflection of what he was feeling inside. Sad and cold and alone, acting as if he had to hide his sadness. And Gray hadn't been cold in years; ice had always been a comfort to him since training with Ur, but it meant little now. He longed for heat, he wanted to feel the warmth of his guild, his family, once again.

Despite knowing Natsu since childhood, Gray felt it accurate to say that Lucy was closer to the Dragonslayer than he himself, but there was no jealousy. In fact, he couldn't envy her at all right now. He didn't know how hard it was for Lucy to be in this situation, but he could imagine. If he magnified his own feelings, maybe then he would understand what she was going through. But was the use of comparing grievances? Especially now when they were all sharing in their suffering. Everyone was feeling the pain in their own ways, everyone was trying to help in their own ways. Gray wanted to help as well, but how? These thoughts had been circling his mind like hungry vultures, preying on his last shreds of hope as they began to falter and die. So he stared hard at the guild's rear wall, trying to resist his morbid thoughts. There had to be _something_ he could do.

Lucy looked up in time to see the light of an idea flash in those inky eyes, piquing her curiosity. "Gray? What are you thinking?"

He blinked, and in a flash, the look was gone, replaced by his usual frowning, slightly bored gaze. "Hm? Oh, nothing really." It was obviously a lie, like any statement that brushed off their grief was. These days, everyone put on a facade, acting as if everything was alright. Acting like Natsu's condition didn't tear them up inside. It was normal.

So Lucy decided to let it go, after all, she had her own problems to worry about right now.

* * *

><p>"How's the treatment going so far?"<p>

Happy had scarcly closed the door before Makarov started asking questions. The cat had to think for a moment before he answered; he wasn't exactly sure.

"Well, um, she did a lot of tests on him, but then . . ."

Makarov struggled to disguise the unease he felt when the Exceed trailed off, but he encouraged him to continue. "But then she made Lucy and I leave the room. I don't know why, but she promised she'd tell us later. Master?"

The old man's face was twisted with emotions : fear, worry, frustration.

Happy watched Makarov pace the room in silence. Suddenly, the old man looked up, he'd made a decision.

"Happy, do you remember the tapes?" Makarov was avoiding certain details concerning the circumstances around the devices, but the Exceed knew exactly what he was talking about. Happy nodded, suddenly finding his throat too tight to speak.

"I believe it's time we . . . learn what really happened."

Happy trembled at those words, his desire to both know and forget causing his core to falter.

"But, Master Makarov, do you even know what's on them?"

A last ditch effort to put it off.

The old man gave a heavy, almost defeated sigh, "I watched a few minutes of the first tape," at this moment, Happy was aware of the Master's fist shaking," they made it very clear what. . ."

He trailed off, the fury of what he'd seen overcoming him. This sight instilled even more apprehension in Happy. He knew that Makarov was enraged over what had happened to Natsu, they all were, but it was rare to see the Master lose control so often. Happy swallowed hard and placed his small paw on the wrinkled hand. This simple action seemed to draw Makarov back to the present and he looked at the blue cat standing beside him.

"I think it will be best if we see Porlyusica first," the old man continued, "and of course, we will talk over the tapes with the others."

Happy approved of the decision, secretly thankful that he wouldn't have to make the choice alone nor right now. It was too much pressure, what if he made the wrong decision? He had never anticipated a situation like this, not even in his nightmares. It was a relief to know that his friends would be by his side through it all, helping him make the right choice for his best friend's recovery. Happy knew without asking that 'the others' were Lucy, Erza, and Gray, maybe even Porlyusica now that she was here.

"Happy, I want you to collect those tapes and have the others in my office when I return." Makarov moved to the door, a silent cue that their conversation was over.

* * *

><p>Porlyusica looked up as the door opened, preparing to chew out whoever was on the other side. She was under a lot of stress right now because of her recent roadblock, and she did not need distractions right now. The old woman knew the guild members were all on edge because of what had happened, but bothering her was not going to solve anything. Didn't these people know she was busy?<p>

Her mouth opened to speak, but closed awkwardly when she saw Makarov enter. The old woman frowned and put down her roll of bandages. She hadn't expected him to disobey her so soon.

"I thought I told you not to come in here, Makarov. Has your hearing gotten that bad already?"

The Master ignored the taunt and shut the door behind him. He was used to Porlyusica's crass nature and commentary, but just now, her words lacked their usual edge. The jeer was half-hearted, almost weary sounding. She spoke as if it were a chore. Only Makarov had known her long enough to detect it.

Something must be troubling her, something she was trying to hide.

The old man felt a cold mass form inside him, but he tried to ignore it. "What have you gotten done so far?" Porlyusica snorted, but it came out more like a dejected sigh. "I've healed his wounds already - the physical ones," she added cryptically.

Makarov did not like where this was going.

And on top of that, there were remnants of a strong sleep spell around Natsu, which could mean only two things: The treatment had been painful or Natsu had broken down.

The old man didn't know which he'd prefer. Truthfully, if he'd had the choice, he'd pick neither. But this situation had shown him over and over that he was not in control. Anything could go wrong, and at any time. The Master had never experienced anything like this in his long life, and he was ill-prepared. It felt as if the whole cosmos were laughing at him, watching him run in circles as he tried to save his broken child.

He sighed, a regular occurence these days, and felt as if all his years had suddenly caught up with him. He had to know what the old woman was hiding. He had to know in order to take back control and _fix this_.

"Porlyusica," he hesitated when she fixed him with a knowing stare. He tried to keep his voice strong, "Tell me."

* * *

><p>The gaping wound on his leg finally scabbed over and the old woman sat back. Porlyusica had not anticipated the magical power healing these wounds would require, causing her to stop the process prematurely. She had planned to heal all of his wounds completely, but some of the infections were worse than they appeared. Particularly the vicious treatment Natsu had sustained on his left leg. The infection was finally gone and his fever lowered, but the wound itself was not completely clear. This thick scab would have to do for now.<p>

It was not that she hadn't enough power, but rather she would need the rest of it for a particular spell. This spell was ancient and strong and dangerous. So dangerous that it was illegal in some lands. It just happened to be fortune that it wasn't forbidden here in Fiore.

_"A bitter fortune indeed,"_ Porlyusica thought dryly. The spell required much magical strength on behalf of the user, strength that the old woman had to hold back from her healing. The spell itself would allow her to look into Natsu's memories; to find out what _really_ happened. If she knew the truth, it would be easier to make the boy confront it on his own. Using this method, he would be healing himself in a way.

Porlyusica took a deep breath. She couldn't help but feel a little guilty about invading the boy's mind like this, but she told herself this was best for him.

She told herself.

The old woman removed her gloves and dropped them in the trash, then, she flexed her fingers. Porlyusica knew she was just prolonging the inevitable.

She placed the fingertips of one hand on the boy's forehead, then closed her eyes. All the incantations flew from her lips and the symbols glowed in her mind. As the steps progressed, she felt her power reserves fuel the spell. She felt her consciousness leave her own body and drill into Natsu's, infiltrating his mind.

He stirred slightly, but this action was far outside her concern.

Porlyusica felt the warmth of the Dragonslayer's mind envelop hers as she completely left her own body. As she grew accustomed to this unfamiliar territory, shapes began to emerge. His mind itself was black, but she could almost _feel_ the red aura pulsating around her.

His memories swam by in the form of inky clouds and although there were many, there were not nearly enough as there should be. These must be the memories he could readily access, those not effected by the torture. To find what she was looking for, Porlyusica would have to go deeper. She pushed forward with the spell and the temperature seemed to lower. Further and further from the forefront of Natsu's mind, the space began to feel heavier.

The old woman instantly knew something was wrong when she hit the Wall.

It was a massive structure that stretched as far as she could sense, blacker than anything she'd ever experienced before.

And it reeked of dark magic.

Porlyusica drew up her strength and focused her mind into pure power. Her light energy collided with the evil and she felt it resist. She slammed the Wall with everything she had in that moment, concentrating her energies into a knife point to cut through the darkness.

Suddenly, an overwhelming aura of fear and hate burst outward. Porlyusica felt herself being thrown back with incredible velocity. The memories screamed by her in galeforce winds as she passed through a blast of the heat.

Porlyusica gasped as she returned to her own body, shaking with a cold sweat. Light peppered behind her eyelids as she closed them, trying to calm down. The whole experience had left her shaken and nauseous.

The old woman opened her eyes as Natsu stirred. He groaned as if he were in pain, but thankfully, he didn't wake.

She could still feel some of the darkness from Natsu's mind in the corners of her own, crawling like black spiders. The exhaustion of her failed attempt forced her to slump against the back of her chair. Porlyusica tried to breathe deeply and calm her frayed nerves, but it was a long time before she felt right again. She thought back to that impassible Wall: The sheer size and evil that permeated its incantation.

Porlyusica drew a sharp breath at this realization.

She had felt it, for a brief moment, that the thing itself was a spell. She had felt the magic when she'd been before it, but this knowledge had been overwhelmed by the sheer evil and terror experienced when the strucure repelled her. It had thrown her back so easily too.

A dread cold as ice water leaked into her chest, there was no way her spell could get through that Wall.

* * *

><p>"But there has to be something you can do!"<p>

Porlyusica had related her experience to Makarov, but, as she expected, he was not satisfied. Although she wasn't pleased either, she knew when she could do no more. Despite her previous life as a Fairy Tail mage, she'd long since gotten rid of that foolish perserverence.

Or she would like to think.

Makarov took a seat on the bed, watching his beloved child with tears in his eyes. Never had he felt so anguished and powerless before. He hated this feeling with every fiber of his being; he would do anything to cure Natsu of this mental sickness, but it just wasn't enough.

It was never enough!

Makarov felt the tears begin to overflow and he shut his eyes against them. "Please. . . Isn't there something you can do? Some spell you haven't tried?"

Porlyusica knew it was a rhetorical question, but she shook her head anyway. Her mind was at its limits right now and her depleted magic was making it hard to think. A headache had begun to creep in as well. This wasn't her expertise. Spells dealing with the human mind were ancient and often illegal for their possible side effects and the horrible things that could be done with them. A prime example being what Natsu was experiencing right now. An ancient dark magic had been cast on him to prevent his mental healing. His captors had not just wounded him physically, they had also attacked his mind. They wanted to crush him.

And Porlyusica didn't know the slightest thing about what they had done. She was an expert in magic that healed the physical body, not the mind. The old woman growled in frustration, she was at her wits end, and there were no indications of a hidden path she could take.

Was this it?

Was this all she would be able to do for the boy? Heal his wounds and leave? Her title as 'Fairy Tail's Medicinal Advisor' meant nothing now if she couldn't cure this one, battered soul. But she could try again. . . only to be pushed away once more by the dark magic. The spell cast by the demons who had tortured this boy. If only she knew what spell had been cast -

Her head snapped up. _"That's it!"_

Makarov jumped,"What's it? Have you found a way to break in?" The old man's voice was breathless with hope and Porlyusica couldn't disguise her sudden rush of emotion either.

"Yes! If I could decode the spell they used to close off his mind, I would have a chance of breaking through. I may even be able to adjust my own spell to fit." The old woman fixed Makarov with eyes blazing with determination. This was the Fairy Tail spirit she'd had so long ago.

"Master Makarov, this may be the cure."

The old mage stared at her, trying to catch his breath. Could this really be happening? Could Natsu's saving grace really, finally, be within reach?

Makarov took another breath," Do you know how to do that? Decode a spell?"

Porlyusica's heart crashed to the floor, "No, I . . . I don't . . ."

Makarov's face sank at the old woman's answer. But a little of his spirit returned as he realized something,"It doesn't have to be you - we could find someone else to do it . . !"

But where? Where would they find someone who could do this, who they could trust?

"Um, I think I know someone."

Two pairs of eyes flew to the door, which was now standing ajar to reveal Lucy. She was looking down, out of embarassment for knowingly defying Porlyusica, but the old woman didn't have the heart to scold her now. "I overheard your conversation and," she looked up, fighting spirit in her eyes, "I know someone who could do it!" Makarov was stunned into silence, but Porlyusica stood.

"Show me."

* * *

><p>"Decode a spell?" Levy's eyes glowed with intensity, "Yes, I'll do it."<p>

Lucy enveloped her friend in a strong embrace, "Thank you."

"There's no need to thank me. If this will help Natsu get better, I'll do it a thousand times over!"

Lucy choked back her tears, she'd just now told Levy about the strange markings she'd found on Natsu's cell, but the script mage wasn't the least bit put off. Her fierce determination glowed and even Porlyusica's gaze was swimming with emotion. There was a certain high about the recent occurrences. A path had finally shown itself to them and the whole guild could feel that there was hope in it.

The two young mages took their leave to get packed, for Levy wished to bring every tool in her arsenal. She would need all her skills for this job, every fragment of knowledge she'd ever collected might come in handy. It may test everything she knew, but the task did not intimidate her in the slightest. If there was any chance that this would help in Natsu's recovery, she was willing to go to the ends of Earthland to get it. She knew the rest of her guild felt the same way, and it was time they acted on it.

When the supplies had been gathered, the girls returned to the front of the guild hall. Porlyusica was standing by the door, along with another.

"Gajeel? What are you doing here?"

"He doesn't want you to go alone," Porlyusica answered,"and I agree with him."

Levy realized with a start that she had completely forgotten about how dangerous the situation surrounding her task really was. She'd been so caught up in the excitement and determination, that she'd forgotten where she was going. That Dark Guild was a horrifying place imbued with dark magic. There could very well be members still lurking there. . . it was for the best if someone came along with her. Levy swallowed hard, then she nodded. "The two of us will go, and we will succeed - I promise!"

Gajeel followed Levy out the guild's front door. He couldn't let her go alone, not after seeing what those monsters had done to Natsu. He couldn't imagine what kind of horrors his fellow Dragonslayer had been through to make him

. . . the way he was now. Gajeel knew he could never let the same thing happen to Levy.

Never.

* * *

><p>Makarov sank into his office chair, feeling his age catching up with him after such a long day. But it wasn't over yet, he remarked, taking in the five serious faces before him. Just as he'd asked, Happy had assembled the other members of Fairy Tail's strongest team in his office. The Surveillance Lacrima were also spread across the desk.<p>

Makarov took a long, deep breath, already feeling the stress of the meeting's subject weigh on him.

"I've already told all of you the story of how I'd found these, but I haven't told you what they're about." He paused for a long moment, so long in fact, that Erza had to remind him to keep going.

Makarov apologized,"The Lacrima are an account of . . . Of the torture they inflicted on Natsu."

Gray bristled while the other mages blanched in horror.

"What kind of sick freak does that?"

Makarov trembled with his own rage, but was unable to provide Gray with an answer. The ice mage forced himself to relax and allow the Master to continue.

"You've probably figured out by now that I believe the guild needs to see these; in order to fully understand everything that's happened to Natsu."

Makarov shut his eyes tightly, having spoken with some difficulty. He, along with the others in the room, knew how uncomfortable this whole situation was. They all had an admittedly morbid desire to know what happened, but they were also afraid of seeing all the horrors that would inevitably be on those Lacrima. No one had to voice these thoughts and in the end, the group decided that the rest of the guild had a right to see these images if they wanted to, so a vote from every member would be taken first thing in the morning.

They were in this together after all.

* * *

><p>Makarov stood on the second floor balcony as he addressed the whole of Fairy Tail before him.<p>

"While examining the Dark Guild, I found these." The old man held up a few Lacrima, before continuing over the murmurs. "These are a record of what Natsu went through during his absence, recorded by those who tortured him."

Makarov's voice trailed off in quiet fury as the guild roiled beneath him like a sea of emotion. Some voices expressed fear and grief, but the overwhelming majority was outrage.

The old man raised his voice above the waves, "It's up to you, as his friends, to decide whether or not you want understand what he went through! We are going to take a vote, but I will not force you to watch. Now, show me your decision!"

Every hand rose.


	8. Pity

Natsu woke up the next morning with a splitting headache.  
>It felt like someone had drilled into his brain and rifled through everything that was inside, leaving it in a mess. Little did he know how close to the truth that was.<br>The Dragonslayer blinked at the painful light in his eyes. It was midday now, and yet he vaguely remembered going to sleep in the afternoon. There was another memory tacked on as well, but he didn't have the mental strength right now to fish for it and pull it from the haze. Natsu's eyes adjusted and he looked outside at the bright sky. How long _had_ he been asleep? At least a whole day, maybe more. . .  
>The boy groaned, feeling his head pound whenever he tried to think too deeply. Maybe he should just go back to sleep . . .<br>Suddenly, Natsu was aware of how strange his body felt. He shifted, but the sensation stayed the same. It was a lack of pain. That feeling he was so used to was gone.  
>Despite the headache, he sat up immediately and threw off the covers. Natsu examined his body with confused excitement, all his wounds were practically healed. Pink scar tissue coverd his torso. He ran his fingers lightly over the huge scab on his leg; a faint soreness lingered after the touch, but it was a far cry from the agony he'd been so used to. A grin broke out on his face.<p>

"I see you're awake."

Natsu started at the old woman's voice.  
>"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."<br>The boy cocked his head as she exited the bathroom opposite his bed and came to sit beside him. It was rare for someone like Porlyusica to apologize. Even in this state, he could recognize that. She was normally so strict and unhappy. And she looked different too - _off_.  
>The way she was looking at him . . . Was that guilt in her eyes? No, it was something else, something Natsu absolutely hated.<p>

Pity.

The Dragonslayer bristled, he couldn't stand people thinking him some poor soul that couldn't even take care of himself. He was better than that - he was the strongest mage in all of Fairy Tail! Natsu ripped his gaze from the woman's, vehemently staring out the window and bracing against the pain in his head.

* * *

><p>Porlyusica couldn't help but pity this poor, poor creature. It had been a day since Makarov had shown the first tape to the guild, and the old woman still couldn't get over her shock. She had expected to be horrified, but the sheer brutality she had witnessed was beyond her comprehension. Porlyusica couldn't believe that the boy had lived through that for a whole five months.<p>

He should be dead.

Every minute of that footage caused her hatred for humanity to grow. How could a man do something so unspeakably cruel to another of his kind? And a young boy no less. It was the most vile thing she'd ever witnessed. They had beaten and humiliated him, and she knew it would only escalate as the Lacrima went on.  
>Porlyusica, despite her desire to know more and improve her treatments, wasn't sure she would be able to stomach much more of the abuse. It was truly unthinkable; even now, after seeing it herself, she couldn't fathom that it had really happened. She wanted to believe that this was all some horrifying nightmare that they needed to wake up from - for Natsu's sake.<br>It had become clear early on that the guild would not be able to endure much more of the footage. There had been a lot of screaming and crying. Some had even thrown up or left all together.  
>The old woman couldn't blame them, and how could she? When Porlyusica herself had closed her eyes against the screaming.<br>But it was going to get a whole lot worse.  
>The old woman's previous tests on the boy had shown her something she still hadn't told Makarov. Something that would inevitably be revealed in the Lacrima. Porlyusica fiercely prayed that she would be wrong, that even those . . . <em>monsters<em> wouldn't go that far.  
>Yet she knew it was just naive, wishful thinking. The Dark Guild's cruelty knew no bounds. They would humiliate him further, even without their being here. Their hate and cruelty extended all the way to Fairy Tail, to the place Natsu thought he was safe. What those men had done would continue to haunt him, even here.<br>The young Dragonslayer's suffering was far from over. Porlyusica looked at Natsu with undisguised pity and inner turmoil.

She couldn't hold his secret forever.

* * *

><p>Natsu couldn't take this much longer.<br>His headache was slowly ebbing away, but he could still feel Porlyusica's pitying gaze on his back. He hated the feeling, not because of others, but because of the way it made him feel. The Dragonslayer knew his friends worried for him, and he couldn't be mad at them for that. Truthfully it made him feel a little good inside, to know they cared. But another feeling it invoked far overshadowed his friends' love.  
>Pity made Natsu feel weak and inferior, he began to doubt himself. That was an unfamiliar emotion, and it frightened him. He had always been the pinnacle of confidence and spirit in the guild. Whenever things looked hopeless, he would charge in and defeat the enemy through sheer determination. That was the way it always was, that was the way it should be.<br>Natsu wanted to scream; he was _strong_.

_"I don't need your pity!"_

Natsu got out of bed for the first time in days.  
>The cool air stung his warm skin, cooling him rapidly. There was no fat on his body to keep the heat, so he hastily wrapped the blanket around his shoulders. The fire mage didn't care that he looked like a white cocoon. The cold was painful, it made his bones ache. Heat was good - safe. He snuggled into the warmth.<br>Porlyusica looked up from her contemplative mood,"What are you doing?" She made a move to sit him down again, but Natsu jerked away.  
>"No! Don't tocuh me!," he hissed.<br>The old woman immediately retracted her hands. She knew the reasons for his dislike of contact, it was deeply rooted to the physical abuse. She couldn't take it if she hurt him even more, accidental or not. Porlyusica tried to make her voice as gentle as she could. It was apparent that the Dragonslayer had become upset since waking. She wasn't sure what had caused him to act this way, but she wasn't about to make it worse. Although she had a feeling that this ordeal was far from over.  
>"Natsu, what do you want to do?"<br>The boy looked restless, "I'm going downstairs - I'm going." he repeated himself for emphasis, letting the old woman know she couldn't stop him.  
>Natsu was out of the room before she could make another move.<p>

When he stepped out on the balcony, all eyes were instantly on him. There weren't many people in the guild hall today, but the atmosphere had suddenly become suffocating. Natsu felt like he couldn't breathe as their pitying gazes bore into him.  
>Why?<br>Why did they make him feel so useless? He didn't see Happy or Lucy among the meager crowd either. The Dragonslayer's thin veil of composure was shattering, he felt trapped.  
>"Stop it . . . Stop staring at me!"<br>Natsu shut his eyes and gripped the blanket, fighting to keep his sanity inside. He could feel his own nails boring into his palms through the thick fabric. Natsu tried to focus on the sting, but his pleading was steadily breaking through. He kept begging them to stop staring, couldn't they see that it hurt him? But his voice was quavering, betraying his fear as he begged them over and over.  
>Natsu suddenly wanted to leave. He wanted to run back inside, somewhere no one could see him. But his feet were stuck, maybe he could sink into the floor instead.<p>

A hand gripped his shoulder and the chanting immediately stopped its assualt on his mind, "You heard him - quit staring!"  
>Natsu flinched at the yelling and opened his eyes. It was Gray.<br>There was sadness and anger and pain in his eyes. But he wasn't looking at the Dragonslayer, his gaze was fixed on the guild as they obeyed him. The pitying looks were turned away from his sight, and Natsu felt relieved. The drilling chant and his anger receded, replaced by a lull.

His skin burned where Gray's hand rested, and he began to feel sick. Thankfully, the ice mage stepped away and the feeling dissolved. Cobalt eyes were fixed on Natsu, carefully blank. But they were looking hard, searching his face for something. The Dragonslayer had no idea what, but he had a sinking feeling that Gray was looking for weakness. If that was so, he probably saw a lot.  
>Natsu averted his gaze to the floor. Shame burned the back of his neck, slowly giving way to anger, although Natsu couldn't say what he was angry at. Everything seemed to put him on edge these days. It was equal parts exhausting and frustrating; he didn't know how much more he could take.<br>Gray's eyes softened. "Natsu, shouldn't you be in bed?" The calm voice snapped said mage out of it. The other man's voice wasn't pitying or even patronizing, just . . . calm.

"What are you doing out here?"

"I'm hungry," he lied.

That seemed to please Gray and he inclined his head toward the bar downstairs. Natsu hesitated, he wasn't sure if he could handle all those eyes being trained on him. Even now, some of the members were stealing uncomfortable glances.

"It's alright."

Natsu started, since when had Gray learned to speak so kindly? The Dragonslayer eyed him suspiciously, if only a little. Those two words had done wonders to reassure him, Natsu had no idea how, but he felt better all the same. He followed Gray down the wooden steps, his left leg only giving him a small amount of trouble. As they navigated the long tables, Natsu kept his eyes firmly on the back of Gray's head, refusing to look around. But he could still feel the eyes. They were few, yet stabbed him like tiny needles across his back. Even the thick blanket wasn't enough to stop them. Regardless, Natsu pulled the cloth tighter, it was the only protection he had.  
>By the time they reached the bar and sat down, Gray's shirt had mysteriously dissappeared. Natsu remembered how he always used to pick on the ice mage for his weird habit. How they would pick on each other for just about anything. But there was no playful malice in him now. Instead, Natsu felt a strange uneasiness settling in his stomach. He inched away on the seat.<br>The motion was slight, but Gray noticed.  
>He pretended not to and ordered a drink, while Natsu's eyes scoured the menu. He got the usual.<br>After ordering, the two mages sat in awkward silence. Neither one knew what to say, but outwardly, Gray looked the most uncomfortable. He kept glancing over at Natsu, who seemed lost in his thoughts. He was worried about the Dragonslayer, so much so that the feeling was almost palpable.  
>And it only worsened when the food came and Natsu barely touched his. Gray had suspected that the boy might've been lying about his reason for coming outside, but he had been willing to hope. The ice mage sipped his drink, although it didn't taste like anything, and thought about last night.<br>They had agreed to show the tapes to the whole guild, but Gray could never have anticipated the horror he would witness. And he hadn't even seen all of it. Minutes into the video, he had become so overcome by rage that he'd stormed out, unable to believe what he'd seen. Even now, just thinking about it, made him clench his teeth.

Natsu looked up in time to see the look on Gray's face, what he saw made him shrink back even more. Natsu hoped the rage he saw wasn't directed at him.  
>When the ice mage turned to look, he quickly busied himself with cutting another piece of meat and forcing it down. Gray knew at once that Natsu had lied about being hungry, but for some reason, he couldn't bring himself to be angry about it.<p>

"You don't have to force it, Fire Clown."

Gray's eyes widened in shock. Where had _that_ come from? It had been so long since he'd last insulted Natsu that the words felt strange on his tongue. He looked at Natsu, hoping desperately that he hadn't hurt the boy with his words.  
>But his concern was stopped short by a vehement, "What'd you call me Stripper?"<p>

The pair sat in stunned silence, blinking at each other, until Gray erupted in laughter. It was sudden, and almost scary, but Natsu chuckled along soon after.  
>The Dragonslayer was surprised by how good it felt.<br>When Gray finally settled down, he wiped a tear from his eye, but it wasn't caused by laughter. The ice mage was overwhelmed by how normal that single moment was. The last few weeks had been so full of uncertainty and pain that it felt amazing to have that single bout of happiness.  
>And with <em>Natsu<em> no less.  
>Gray glanced over at the fire mage, noting how he didn't look so miserable anymore. He still wasn't eating, but Gray couldn't care less. He was preoccupying himself with forming another insult; he wanted to make Natsu laugh again. "You heard me Dragonbreath, or do you need your ears cleaned again?"<br>Natsu glowered at him, but the anger didn't reach his eyes - a good sign.  
>Gray was starting to laugh again when Natsu pushed him off the chair. The ice mage landed on his back with a thud, taken completely unaware.<br>He lay bewildered for a moment, listening to Natsu cackle overhead. He should've been angry, and his old self would've been. But now, laughter was the only sound that escaped him. And he didn't care that the whole guild was staring at the two of them.

How could he? He hadn't been there the whole time, not like they had. Gray hadn't seen the whole tape and witnessed the violence and abuse it held. He hadn't been plagued by the same nightmares.  
>Little did he know the truth was about to come crashing down on him.<br>When Gray opened his eyes to see Porlyusica standing over him. The look on her face immediately sobered him. He stood up and turned to her, all traces of his good humor gone.

"We are meeting in Makarov's office," she said quietly.  
>It was then that Gray noticed the distasteful way Natsu was gazing at the woman. The ice mage nodded to her and she left in the direction of the stairwell. He turned back to Natsu, who was stabbing his food dejectedly with a fork.<p>

"Natsu, I have to go. . . um, we'll talk later okay?" That last part felt forced, but he really did mean it.

"Fine, whatever."

Gray's shoulders slumped. Porlyusica's sudden appearence had soured Natsu's mood more than he had anticipated. How had that smiling, happy boy disappeared so suddenly? The Dragonslayer's moods were so volatile that the smallest misstep could set him off. It made Gray wonder what the woman had done to upset him.  
>"Do you want me to take you back upstairs?" he asked.<p>

Natsu stabbed the pork cut violently,"I can go by myself! Don't treat me like I'm helpless!"

Gray started and stumbled over his words, finding nothing to say.  
>He was at a loss, mentally cursing himself for doing just as Natsu had said. He should've said something - apologized - but the words wouldn't come. Instead he'd sulked off like a kicked puppy.<br>Pathetic.

Gray climbed the steps to Makarov's office in silence.

* * *

><p>Natsu glared down at his food, listening to Gray walk off. He knew he shouldn't be this angry, but he couldn't help it. Every little thing seemed to set him off lately. All the stress was building up inside him, growing each day until he wasn't sure <em>exactly what<em> he was feeling. It was exhausting, this odd mix of anger and sadness, pain and fear.  
>Natsu was sick of it. He was just so frustrated.<br>Frustrated and lost and _tired_.

So tired.

The tears came then. They were hot, angry tears that burned his eyes as they came. His plate blurred and the tears dripped onto the food. For some reason, that made him angry.  
>Natsu shoved the plate away, letting it slide off the table and crash to the floor. The sound was out of place, augmented by the silence of the guild hall.<br>Natsu immediately regretted his actions.  
>They were staring at him again, their eyes full of that God-forsaken pity. Rage flared violently inside him, but died out almost immediately.<br>Suddenly, the Dragonslayer felt sick. He stood up, bones aching, and raked his eyes with the blanket. His tears were in check for now, so Natsu made his way back to his room as quickly as possible. He shut the door and sat on his bed. He curled up in the warm blanket, nothing sounded more appealing than sleep right now.  
>As he drifted off, Natsu idly wondered where Lucy and Happy were. He hadn't seen them at all today, not that he had been out of his room for long.<br>Strange.  
>They were always here.<br>Natsu wrapped the blanket tighter around himself, suddenly feeling very naked and exposed without his friends. He knew this feeling, it sent waves of sick nausea deep inside him. He wanted to hide now, sleep completely forgotten. All of his senses had become hyper aware, as only a Dragonslayer's could. He heard every creack and groan of the wood, glimpsed every shadow in the room, despite the sun outside. He felt the tingle of cold on his skin; every tired ache and the itch of his scars, but he dare not move. There was something watching, the eyes were roaming all over him, uninhibited by the blanket's false security. The fire mage had come here to rest, to find a reprieve from the stress.  
>Instead, he lay awake in bed, watching for a danger that no longer existed.<p>

* * *

><p>Lucy and Happy entered the Master's office together. They had met up on the road here and the unspoken agreement to travel together had been made. Both had intended to stay home today, much like the majority of the guild. What they had seen last night drained everything from them.<br>Lucy had felt like an empty husk afterwards, and she still did. It wouldn't take days or even months to recover; simply put, she never would.

The spirit mage knew that she would carry the horror with her for the rest of her life.

And that had only been the first of many. She couldn't imagine what other cruel things were recorded, but she didn't want to find out. Something told her that the remaining Lacrima held worse secrets than the first. And she could take no more. Lucy found herself desperately wishing she'd just left like Gray had. But her feet had been stuck, her whole body paralyzed by the haunting images on the screen.

She had never cried so hard her entire life.

But when the order for a meeting came from Makarov, she had wanted to break down all over again. The only stopping her had been her lack of tears left to shed. At least she could be thankful for that.

When the pair reached Fairy Tail, the afternoon was fading into dusk. There were very few members inside, which didn't surprise Happy nor Lucy. Even _they_ hadn't wanted to come today. It was selfish and made them feel guilty to have abandoned Natsu. Yet they knew that they couldn't face him today or provide him with a smile and comfort, because they so desperately needed it themselves.  
>Only the urgency of the Master's message had forced them up. It had been sent by magic, stating that Porlyusica had something important to reveal. Lucy couldn't deny that she was frightened of this new information, and her dread grew with every step to the Makarov's office.<br>Happy swung open the doors, having reached them first, and flew into the room. He settled on the corner of the large desk while Lucy took and empty seat. Gray and Erza had already arrived, both looking weighted down. Erza's eyes were red from crying. But Master Makarov was by far the worst; his face was drawn and haggard, looking for all the world like he'd been beaten. That was probably how he felt, and his bloodshot gaze couldn't be hidden. Porlyusica stepped forward from her place beside Makarov and began to speak. "I know what you saw last night was," she grappled for a word, "unspeakable, but. . .

"A few days ago, I examined Natsu and found something that I neglected to share with you."  
>No one spoke, but the dread in the room was palpable. If Porlyusica had hidden something from them, it only mean bad news. How could anything get worse? The group's feared silence urged Porlyusica on. "When I first came to this conclusion, I didn't believe it, but . . . " Porlyusica hesitated for a moment. She looked very uneasy, like she wanted to throw up or leave the room, maybe both. The old woman took a deep breath to steady her quivering throat and spoke quickly, wanting to get it over with,<p>

"I think it's safe to say that Natsu was violently raped, multiple times during his captivity."

It took a moment for the mage's words to sink in.

Raped.

More than once. . .

Violently.

_Raped?_

Suddenly, it all clicked and Lucy's nerves gave out. Her body felt weightless - out of control. She tried to swallow back the sting of bile in her throat; quell the nightmarish images in her mind. It all made sense now: the way he favored his lower body, feared the males of the guild, his difficulty walking,

_all the blood on his thighs when they'd found him._

Someone sobbed loudly, but Lucy wasn't sure who, it could have been her for all she knew right now. Her mind was shrouded in a thick cotton mist. All the sound and emotion was muddled out.  
>Numb.<br>That was it, she felt nothing. But it lasted no more than fleeting seconds. Soon, the knife of horror broke through the fog and went straight through her. It twisted agonizingly inside, slicing and burning till she could no longer hold her emotions in, or identify them. Lucy shoved her face into her hands and cried openly.  
>Erza had her hand clasped over her mouth, sobs leaking out along with tears as her body trembled. Makarov was shaking too, but worse, and his tears fell heavy. Happy was stone, his body gone so still he might as well have been dead. The only reassurance to his life was his silent crying. Gray wasn't moving either; his face showed both anger and pain, but the two were so alike it was almost as if they were one.<br>Nobody wanted to believe what Porlyusica had said, but how could they deny it? She was a renowned healer and their own experiences pointed to what she'd said as the truth. They had seen the signs with their own eyes and come to the same conclusion. There was no denying what was in front of them, unless they wanted to lie to themselves.

The truth was uglier than they ever could have imagined and they were staring right down the beast's throat.

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: I'm so sorry this chapter took so long, it was fighting me the whole way. I hope it came out alright though. I'm entering my Junior year of high school on the fifth, so I'll be quite busy. But I'll try hard to get some work done on this story. Don't have much to say, but I wish you all a great year and so much love to all the readers!**_


	9. Council

The guild was quiet again today. It was unnatural for Fairy Tail, and it just felt . . . _wrong_.  
>Makarov slumped down in his office chair. He'd slept in it last night and there was a terrible kink in his neck now. Judging by the faint light it was morning. Makarov rubbed his face with tired old hands; even though he'd slept the whole night through, he felt more tired than ever before. The news from last night weighed heavily on him, as it would on the others, no doubt. He resisted the urge to cry. Thinking about it here, alone in his office, made Makarov's heart break all over again. <em>Why?<em> was all he could think. Why would someone do such a wretched thing? Despite how much he wondered, the old man wasn't sure he truly wanted to know the answer. There couldn't possibly be one that satisfied him. The only thing capable of doing that now was revenge. He knew that was wrong, but at the same time, he had never been so consumed by a desire for it. He wanted to do wicked, horrible things to those people.

Makarov often found himself conjuring the most cruel and painful means of killing a person. It frightened him, when he was alone with these thoughts. He had always thought himself a kind and jovial person. But recently, he was starting to question that.

The old man could take any number of beatings himself, but touch his children and he would fight to the death. Suddenly, Makarov found himself wishing he'd been in Natsu's place. He would suffer all the humiliation, all the beatings, all the _things_ if it meant he could see his child smile again. But it was too late for that.

Much too late.

He had failed; as guild master it was his job to lead these mages, to protect them. Makarov slammed his fist on the desk and let out a cry of frustration. His eyes squeezed shut, a wall against the tears. His heart was being constricted by bitterness.

There was no end to this suffering in sight.

It was always worse when Makarov let himself be alone. But at the same time, he couldn't bear to be around the others for long. He was their Guild Master, he was supposed to be strong for them. Yet he felt as weak and helpless as a newborn baby. Every moment was a fight to keep the tears in check. He couldn't let them fall in front of his children, so he stayed in his office, hiding in his own grief.

Makarov sighed again, he hadn't eaten in a long time and it was starting to wear on him. The old man dreaded having to go out and face the guild, but he needed his strength. He made his way to the door when it swung open violently from the other side. Mirajane burst in. Her voice was breathless with panic, "Master Makarov, it's the council!"

The old man was suddenly filled with dread. He followed Mira quickly from the office, all traces of hunger gone. The whole of Fairy Tail seemed gathered in the common room and Makarov could see the tips of spears poking above the masses. There was a strong feeling of unease pulsing from the crowd. It rippled like waves and was so thick Makarov felt like he was breathing it. He lost Mira somewhere on the way, but any thought of that was too far to be a concern. He shoved his way through the angry crowd, coming face to face with a circle of rune knights. They parted to let the magistrate through. He was a frog-like creature dressed in silks. His voice was curt as he addressed the old man.

"Master Makarov Dreyar of Fairy Tail?"

"Yes?"

"We have come bearing an order from Era. Natsu Dragneel is to come with us and stand trial before the Council."

* * *

><p>Lucy blinked her scratchy eyes in the daylight. She was in the bathroom; yet she had no idea how she'd gotten there in the first place. She remembered waking up, but the rest of the morning was a blur. She'd been on autopilot, going about her daily routine without feeling anything. Lucy had no room left to feel. Her heart was caged off by grief. The news of Natsu's pain had torn fresh wounds inside her; and the scabs that had formed made her numb.<p>

Lucy hadn't planned on going to the guild today; honestly, she hadn't planned on doing anything at all. _"Why did I get up then?"_ she wondered.

But some twisted part of her thought it might be good to be around her grieving friends. How that might help Lucy did not know; maybe they could share in their grief, and lift some.

The spirit mage was eating breakfast when she realized it: They didn't know.

The rest of Fairy Tail had no idea the depth of Natsu's pain. Porlyusica had only told the Dragonslayer's closest friends. An angry wave of jealousy washed over her. It wasn't fair! They were being kept safe from the darkest horrors of Natsu's torture, while she would have to suffer it. To be reminded of it every time she looked at him, every time she met eyes with someone who knew. She could never tell the rest of the guild, never.

Lucy had known that the road to Natsu's recovery would be hard, but she never could have imagined pain like this.

Lucy picked up her bag and house keys, heading toward the door. She was still going out. Despite the jealousy she now felt, she couldn't bear to stay home alone any longer, trapped in this bottomless grief. Lucy opened the door and stepped into the street, fighting back tears.

* * *

><p>When Lucy arrived at the guild, she was shocked to find a crowd gathered at the front. It seemed like the whole guild was present, packed together and making the air too hot. The atmosphere was tense and wary, all with an undercurrent of fear. Lucy was immediately filled with all three.<p>

She couldn't see over anyone nor draw any information from the mutterings around her. She spotted Mirajane a few yards off.

Lucy edged toward her,"What's going on?" Mira's blue eyes locked on her, full of fear. Her voice was a hoarse whisper, "It's the Magic Council - they want to take Natsu away!"

Panic and horror surged through Lucy. She wrestled to the front of the crowd. Her heart was racing, drowning out all other sounds. The guild had formed a circle around a group of rune knights before them. They were all dressed in the same, fine blue robes and wielded tall spears. The magistrate himself, a frog-like creature, was at the head of the group in a dark coat and white skirts. He stood across from Makarov. The two of them were arguing heatedly. The Master was flanked by Erza and Gray, and Lucy went quickly to their side. Lucy couldn't make out what they were saying over the sound of her own heart. But she could see enough. Makarov's neck was steadily growing redder and Gray looked ready to attack the rune knights. The magistrate was clearly frustrated too. Lucy could make out clenched fists within his sleeves.

Happy appeared in a sudden panic, digging his claws into her boot. The blond mage started and looked down at his terrified face.  
>"Lucy, please don't let them take Natsu. . !" He was on the verge of tears and his voice trembled. She knelt and patted his head, speaking quietly, "Don't you worry, I won't let them do anything. Go stay with Natsu okay?"<br>Happy gave a tiny nod. She felt the same fear the cat did. It was churning inside, making her feel sick. They couldn't take Natsu - she wouldn't let them! They would have to kill her first.  
>She looked at the Council magistrate, who had begun to speak again.<p>

"By order of the Magic Council, Fiore Branch, Natsu Dragneel is to be taken in for questioning regarding his capture at the hands of the unnamed Dark Guild." He had a high, tremuluos voice, but full of authority.  
>Makarov sounded old and tired in comparison. "I cannot allow that! He is no condition to stand before the council!"<p>

"Wether you can allow it or not it is an order from Era!"

"And as Master of Fairy Tail I refuse! What right do you have? He is not the criminal here!"

The magistrate looked ready to scream. "It does not matter if he is the criminal or not. The council has decided to question him. You will hand Natsu Dragneel over to us right now - this is an _order_!"

Lucy was cold. How could this be happening? And could they really defy the council like this? Suddenly, she was afraid for all her friends in the room. The council was the supreme magical authority in this land, and they were deadly powerful. She wondered how far would they go to get their way.  
>What might the council do to them?<br>To her?  
>Lucy was pulled from her thoughts when a voice to her left spoke up.<p>

"Do you have a warrant stating this order?"

All eyes locked on Erza. She had spoken calmly, but her voice carried immeasurable weight. The magistrate only glowered in response. Lucy blinked, recalling a law that had been passed only months ago. It had been all over the news.  
>Without an official warrant, not even the highest seats of the council could take invasive actions against a guild or its members. Lucy might not have known the specifics of the law, but she knew that much. Erza had trapped the magistrate and he knew it.<br>"Without a warrant you _do not_ have the _right_to take Natsu, regardless of your orders."

The magistrate was absolutely furious. A vein in his neck was throbbing and red crept up beneath the green of his skin. The rune knights shifted uncomfortably in their heavy armor. The room was even warmer now, and the atmosphere pressing down like a lead weight. Erza and the magistrate stared each other down. The two locked eyes for a long moment, before the councilman seemed to deflate. He cleared his throat. "Very well, the council's order will be withdrawn - for now. We will return shortly, with a warrant in tow."  
>His eyes connected with Makarov's, but his threat reached everyone in the room.<p>

"You best be ready by then."

* * *

><p>After the council's men had left, Makarov called a meeting of the five of them. He, Lucy, Gray, Erza, and Happy were gathered in his office. The air was still tense and heavy, even without the council's presence. Gray broke the silence with a frustrated growl. "Take him in for questioning, what's that even mean? He's not the criminal here!"<br>Lucy thought back to the confrontation in the guild hall. It _had_ seemed like the magistrate was accusing Natsu of some crime . . .  
>Makarov shook his head tiredly. "They will want to know as much as possible about that Dark Guild. Their new Chairman, Doma, is obsessed with the destruction of all illegal guilds. Not to mention they dislike Fairy Tail, particularly Natsu," Makarov whispered.<p>

"And it struck me as odd that they didn't have a warrant," Erza mused. Makarov nodded, "We may still have some friends in the council. . ."  
>Lucy quirked an eyebrow, she didn't understand. She thought the council hated Fairy Tail.<br>"You mean . . . Yajima?" Gray asked.  
>"Yes. I believe he sent them without a warrant in the hopes that we would catch it. He meant to send us a warning."<p>

_"A warning?"_ Lucy swallowed a thick knot of fear. She knew how powerful the council was, and that terrified her the most. How long could they resist until Natsu was taken by force? A hundred, terrifying scenarios ran through her mind. She saw the Dragonslayer being taken away, she saw him in prison, her friends crying,

Fairy Tail being destroyed.

Lucy was suddenly aware of her rapid breathing and Erza's hand on her arm. "Lucy?" The stellar mage looked down at Happy, his brow wrinkled in concern. She forced a smile and tried to ignore the tremor in her voice, "I'm alright, but, what happens next?"  
>Makarov steepled his fingers. After thinking for a moment, he sighed heavily. "I do not know."<p>

The group exchanged worried glances. They were all at a loss as to what to do next. No one could have foreseen a situation like this and no one was prepared to deal with it. Natsu was not physically strong enough for the journey yet, much less mentally. And there was no telling what they might subject him to. Physical exams and interrogations were certain, and Natsu had handled neither of them well in the past.  
>Erza looked up suddenly, an idea stirring in her mind. "Porlyusica could help."<br>The group looked at her curiously, urging her on. "At our last meeting, she mentioned in passing that there were spells she had not yet tried on Natsu's mind."

"Old and dangerous spells," Makarov added quietly.

The comment dampened Erza's enthusiasm, but only slightly. "Still, we should try; Natsu is strong - if nothing else. I believe he can make it. But we must help him!" Erza had risen slightly from her chair and she sat down heavily.  
>"Is there anything else we can do but help?" she asked softly.<p>

The room was silent then, everyone lost in thought, trying to think of a less dangerous alternative. It soon became clear that there was none. "Forgive me Master Makarov, for raising my voice."  
>The old man shook his head, "Nonsense, there would be no point to these meetings if you did not express your opinions. If the rest of you agree with Erza's plan, I will speak to Porlyusica about it. In the end, she has the final say."<br>He looked around the room as everyone nodded their agreement. There was nothing else they could try, and nothing short of a miracle that could make it work.  
>Makarov cleared his throat, "The council will return, make no mistake about that." There was fire in his eyes when he spoke again, "But by the time they do, we'll be ready."<p>

Lucy felt her fear melt away. This was no time to be acting scared. Natsu would need everyone's strength to pull through this. The whole guild would have to stand together against the council and their hatred. Lucy could not afford to be weak. She had vowed to save Natsu, that first night they rescued him. It was going to be hard; she had already encountered horrors she hadn't thought possible. But she would never back down from this, not from helping her closest friend. No matter what. Natsu had always been there for her, and it was time she repaid him. Lucy would not give in to fear.

She was no frightened animal, but a mage of Fairy Tail!

* * *

><p><em><strong>AN: OMG finally got this done! I'm sorry it's so short and took flipping forever, but this chapter bit and fought and kicked the whole way through. Jeez. All the reviews and followers sure inspired me to keep going though! Since we don't know too much about the government system in FT I apologize in advance if I've jacked anything up. Love you all and I'm looking forward to the next chapter! Also, because I'm desperate and shameless, follow me on Tumblr .com !**_


	10. Mind Games

Lucy held Natsu's hand inside her own. She brushed her thumb back and forth across his knuckles, noting how rough and dry they were. His hand was warm, but shaking so hard he might as well have been freezing. He was sitting up and staring straight ahead. His whole body was rigid with fear and Lucy knew she looked the same.  
>Even without Happy eavesdropping on the conversation outside, Natsu knew that something wasn't right. His sixth sense had only grown sharper since he'd been taken captive.<br>Lucy had known this all too well. When she entered the room, she'd tried to seem as calm and friendly as possible. She wanted to act as if nothing was up, but the smile she wore felt ridiculously fake, even to her. There was no way it was going to convince Natsu, but what else could she do?  
>Holding his hand until Porlyusica and Makarov finished talking was the best Lucy could do right now. She squeezed Natsu's hand, trying to reassure him. He was strong, if anything, and he could do this.<br>Admittedly, Lucy had had everything together until the moment she locked eyes with the Dragonslayer. When she saw him, all the sickening, guilty feelings came rushing back and soured her already-fake smile. She couldn't get the images out of her mind.  
>Lucy could see nothing but Natsu being beaten and tortured and <em>used<em>. The spirit mage found herself wishing that she'd been blind and deaf when the footage on the first Lacrima was shown. But the information Porlyusica had shared with the small group of Natsu's closest friends was by far the worst.

Rape.

The word didn't seem real to her. It was nothing but a series of letters with no understanding behind it. Lucy was thankful that her mind had permitted that small grace today.  
>Was it the same for Natsu? That Wall that Porlyusica and Makarov had spoken of... The day she'd listened in on the elder's conversation seemed years ago, but now it all came rushing back. Porlyusica had said the Wall was some sort of dark magic that kept Natsu from accessing all his memories and coming to terms with what really happened to him.<br>Suddenly, Lucy understood. Because she was refusing to acknowledge a part of Natsu's torture, she couldn't move on from it. If Natsu never came to terms with his abuse, he would never heal. That was the purpose of the Wall. Anger welled up inside Lucy. It wasn't enough for those people to hurt Natsu's body, they had to destroy him so thoroughly that he'd never come back to them.

* * *

><p>Makarov slumped against the door to Natsu's room. He felt defeated and even more exhausted than when he had started this conversation. Porlyusica watched him for a moment, before turning her head to occupy her own thoughts.<br>Makarov stared at his feet. He knew that the spell Porlyusica had proposed would be risky, but he never anticipated such a low rate of success. It felt deeply wrong to go ahead with such magic, but no other option was presenting itself.  
>"Is there really no other way?" he looked at the old man, her eyes sympathetic, but firm. "No, there are very few spells I know that deal with the mind. This the only one I haven't tried."<br>Makarov let out a long, deep sigh. He seemed to shrink even more. "Do we even need to do this? Why can't we just let him recover on his own?"  
>Porlyusica knew that question was Makarov's last attempt to back out of the procedure. She tried to keep the frustration out of her voice, "Natsu's abusers placed a spell on him – one I'm not familiar with. It's keeping him trapped in a small corner of his mind. If the spell is not lifted…" Porlyusica trailed off, letting Makarov fill in the blanks.<br>The Master grimaced, his face contorted with the weight of his decision.  
>"Can't it wait until Levy and Gajeel return with the decoding?"<br>Porlyusica shook her head, "We have no idea of when they'll return and at the rate Natsu is 'recovering' on his own, he will not be ready to face the Council when they come back for him."  
>Makarov started at the mention of the Magic Council. It was only yesterday that they had tried to take Natsu, but Makarov had already forgotten about them.<p>

"What could they want?" he hissed.

"I can't be sure, but I can guess. They want every shred of information Natsu might have on the dark guild and they don't care how they get it."

Makarov growled in frustration and rubbed at his face. In the last few weeks, the number of wrinkles in the old man's skin seemed to have doubled and his hair had thinned. He had aged years in a matter of days.  
>Porlyusica pitied him, but quickly brushed the emotion aside. She would need to focus for what was coming next. "If you have no more concerns I'll be proceeding then."<br>Makarov nodded and waved his hand, defeated.

Porlyusica steeled herself and entered Natsu's room. Lucy was seated at his bedside, her head tilted downward. Happy was also present, curled up against Natsu's side, trying to provide some kind of comfort. The girl didn't so much as twitch at Porlyusica's entrance, but Natsu's gaze was immediately on the healing mage.  
>He did not look happy to see her.<br>Porlyusica took up a chair opposite Lucy, "It's good that you two are here." Something in the old woman's tone roused the spirit mage, who finally looked up.

"What do you mean?"

Porlyusica sighed, "This spell that I am going to try is risky to say the least. It is a much more... aggressive technique."

Lucy immediately knew that there was something Porlyusica wasn't saying.  
>There was a knot in her stomach as Lucy's mind jumped to all kinds of conclusions. Whatever it was that Porlyusica was hinting at, Lucy could assume that Natsu would be in pain somehow.<br>The thought made her want to be sick.  
>Hadn't he suffered enough?<br>It just wasn't fair!  
>Why should anyone - especially someone as strong and kind and good - have to be tortured like this?<br>The frustration overwhelmed her then and hot, angry tears slipped down Lucy's cheeks. They only served to anger her more, she was sick of crying. She was angry not sad!  
>Natsu made a concerned sound and squeezed the hands that held his. Lucy withdrew one of her hands to wipe her face. Somehow, the Dragonslayer's small gesture had helped calm her nerves. Lucy took a breath and attempted to give Natsu a reassuring smile; she hoped it was convincing.<br>Porlyusica watched the exchange silently. Then she cleared her throat, "Natsu." The rose-haired boy looked at her, face blank. "In order for this spell to work, I'll need your full cooperation. The ones that hurt you cast a spell that has stopped your mind from healing."  
>Natsu stared at her, growing tense and nervous at the mention of his abusers, even if it wasn't in name. A part of him wanted to back out, to escape right then and there, but the greater part of him knew that Porlyusica was right. He had felt that spell for himself; it was the great black Wall that cut him off any time he tried to think too hard or access his own memories. It was the source of his frustration. It cut him off from remembering so many things that it left him stranded, lost in his own mind.<p>

It was a horrible feeling, to not have control of his own body.

He might have escaped that prison, but they still held on to him. It was maddening and Natsu trembled at the sudden urge to tear his hair out, to claw his skin, something - anything - just to get the feeling of their hands off him. He grabbed a fistful of his rosy hair and began to pull. Lucy shouted something and grabbed at him. He wrenched away from her, frightened by the sudden movement.  
>Natsu immediately felt ashamed of himself. Lucy was a friend, she'd never hurt him.<br>Never never _never_.

"Sorry, Lucy," he mumbled. Natsu let his hand fall from his hair. He was exhausted already; he wished they could try this spell some other time. But Porlyusica was having none of that, she instructed Natsu to lie down and relax. Lucy and Happy were on either side of him, each holding a hand for comfort.  
>Porlyusica made a complex hand sign and began to mutter in an old language. The Dragonslayer tried to ignore the old woman and focus on his breathing. He tried to match Lucy's, but a nauseous feeling still formed in his stomach. He felt so exposed, lying down like this. Natsu tried not to dwell on it, but the thoughts made his heart race. He tried to reason with himself; he was among friends here, they wouldn't hurt him.<br>_"I'm safe. I'm safe. They're just trying to help."  
><em>When Porlyusica placed glowing fingertips against his head, he flinched. Pressure built up in his head, worming its way deep inside. Natsu struggled against it as his vision began to fade.

_"Natsu!"_

It was Porlyusica's voice.

_"The pressure you feel is just my consciousness entering yours! Don't fight it, I'm trying to help! Just relax."_

Natsu squeezed Lucy's hand and Happy's paws, the only things he felt grounding him; he focused on those sensations, breathing deeply. Soon he grew used to Porlyusica's mental presence and his heart rate slowed.

_"Good. We're going deeper now, stay calm."_

The pressure nearly disappeared as Porlyusica delved farther into his mind, dragging his own consciousness with her. He went willingly, observing the inky black clouds that served as his memories. He knew what was coming, and he began to dread it.  
>As if in response to his fears, the Wall appeared before them.<br>Porlyusica stopped.

_"This is where I will need your help, Natsu. I need you to examine this Wall with all of your consciousness; you need to find a weak point. I will then strike that point with my spell. Can you do that?"_

Natsu didn't really know how to start searching, he was at a loss. Porlyusica must have felt his confusion, for he could hear her thoughts again.

_"Try to imagine stretching your consciousness over the entire Wall - it's not as large as it looks. Feel for any place it is cracked or thin. You will know when you find it."_

Natsu did as Porlyusica asked to the best of his ability. He tried to stretch himself, the effort nearly exhausting him. When he touched the Wall, an overwhelming sense of hate and darkness rose to meet him. Natsu immediately wrenched away, frightened by how familiar that sensation had been.

_"You can't give up, Natsu!"_

The Dragonslayer heard the words, but hesitated. He was scared, but he knew he had try again. He searched for the sensation of his friends, drawing strength from their warm hands in his.  
>Natsu felt the Wall again.<br>The evil aura was like a nest of cold, slick worms writhing beneath him. He nearly balked at the horrid feeling, but a sudden give in the Wall pulled him in. It felt like a shallow dip in the black mass. The dark aura was definitely weaker here!  
>Porlyusica felt his sudden excitement and began to draw and focus her magic energy. Natsu drew his consciousness back from the Wall, exhausted and relieved. A harsh spear of light exploded inside the Dragonslayer's brain. The magic weapon hit the dark mass in his mind and tore away at the weak spot. The spear punctured the Wall and flew on to the deep darkness beyond.<br>For a long time, nothing happened. But at that moment, Natsu realized something.

The Wall was still there.

Porlyusica cursed somewhere in his mind, but he was not listening. Natsu stared, transfixed, as a thick black liquid began its sluggish descent from the hole down the side of the Wall. It pooled on the floor, looking like oil.  
>It was as if the Wall were bleeding.<br>Natsu looked up at the black structure, dimly noting that the hole was no longer there. He looked at the floor again, watching as the liquid began to evaporate and form a cloud. It joined the other clouds moving along inside his mind and soon enough, Natsu lost track of it.  
>Porlyusica's voice reached him again, sounding strained.<p>

_"Natsu! Listen to me! I'm going to weaken your end of the spell now, but I will still try to work from here!"_

Pain bloomed at the base of Natsu's skull as his physical sense came back in full force and a loud cracking sound filled his ears. The Dragonslayer cried out and grabbed at his hair. He was left breathless and trembling as the sharp pain disappeared as quickly as it had come. Porlyusica's presence was still in him, yet Natsu seemed to be inside and out of his mind all at once. The sensation left him feeling sick and confused. The pressure in his head fluctuated violently as Porlyusica attacked the Wall with her spell over and over. She urged him to attack from his end as well, but the Dragonslayer didn't have the strength. Instead, he forced his eyes open, dimly aware of Porlyusica telling him to stop, to keep his eyes closed.  
>He ignored her. His eyes were slow to focus, but when they did, the first thing he saw was Sodom's face hovering over his.<p>

Natsu let out a bloodcurdling scream.

* * *

><p>Lucy was beginning to feel stiff. She had been sitting at Natsu's bedside for a few hours. Porlyusica's spell had taken the whole latter half of the afternoon; it was dark outside now.<br>Lucy and Happy had kept themselves busy with conversation - fake conversation. After all, there wasn't much to talk about that would help lift their spirits. But even so, they had made an effort, and Lucy couldn't help but be impressed with Happy. He had kept on a brave face since the beginning. He was the youngest and most child-like of all of them, but he had risen to the morbid challenge and was always strong for Natsu. She was proud of him, even though sadness accompanied her pride as well.  
>The blue cat's ears pricked only a moment before Natsu awoke.<br>The Dragonslayer cried out and his hands flew to his head. Lucy was on her feet immediately and Happy wasted no time in soothingly rubbing his friend's hair. Natsu seemed short of breath and his body began to shake. Lucy stole a glance at Porlyusica; but the old witch was motionless, still under the spell.  
>Happy gasped, pulling Lucy's gaze back to Natsu, who had opened his eyes. The boy stared ahead for a moment, then a look of pure terror spread across his face. A screech tore from his throat that made Lucy stumble back several feet.<br>"W-what's going on?!" Happy was in a frenzy, trying to calm Natsu any way he could.  
>"Natsu! Please stop! What's wrong? Tell me what's wrong!" But he just kept screaming and thrashing in the bed. The Dragonslayer's arms were raised, as if protecting himself from some unseen enemy.<p>

* * *

><p>No matter which way he turned, Sodom's face leered over him.<p>

The dark, cruel eyes and wicked grin were just as he remembered. But the image was contorting; the skin grew deathly pale, sloughing off the skull and catching on sharp teeth. Dark eyes swelled and popped, running down the face like thick black oil. Natsu continued to scream, completely overcome by fear. He couldn't escape. Sodom would lock him up; would touch and hurt and humiliate him. Natsu couldn't take it, not again.

_"It's just a hallucination, Natsu! It's not real!"_

Porlyusica's shout pierced his brain. The image of Sodom's face shattered and only a wooden ceiling remained. Someone was breathing harshly and the sound of a heartbeat was everywhere.  
>Happy's face appeared in front of him, tense with worry.<br>"N-Natsu..?"  
>The Dragonslayer blinked at him, then struggled to sit up. Gunshots went off inside his brain and spots clouded his vision. Natsu doubled over and gripped his head; the pain was blinding.<br>A soft hand was laid on his shoulder and he recognized Lucy's voice. "Take it easy," she whispered. Eventually, Natsu's breathing matched his friends' and the spots faded from his vision.  
>He looked at Lucy, "What happened?"<br>"You were hallucinating."  
>Three pairs of eyes flew up to look at Porlyusica. She had broken the spell and sat awake in her chair. She seemed tired and unhappy.<p>

"Hallucinating? I was hallucinating?" As Natsu repeated the word in a whisper, the fear came back.  
>Sodom's face flashed in the corners of his vision and his heart began to pound so hard he thought it would burst. He tried to breathe, but no air was reaching his lungs. His body began to tremble. The room was getting colder and his heart was violently trying to escape his chest.<br>Sodom's face was everywhere._  
><em>And with it, the feeling of cruel hands all over his body hitting, burning, touching him.  
>Natsu wanted to scream.<br>Someone's arms wrapped around him. He knew it was Lucy, but that sudden physical contact made him jerk away. Immediately he was upset and ashamed, but he couldn't stop shaking_. _Lucy spoke softly, gently to him.  
>"Natsu, it's okay to be scared."<p>

"No it's not!" he yelled.  
>Something had snapped in him and all the shame and anger was boiling over. He felt so small and pitiful.<br>"I know you guys won't hurt me, or. . . or do those _things_ to me, but. . ."  
>He knew better than to be afraid of Lucy or Happy, but when the fear welled up inside him. . . it was too much.<br>His voice grew soft and pleading, "I'm. . .scared and I just -

_I just can't do it."_

Natsu began to cry.  
>Fat tears streamed down his cheeks and he tried vainly to wipe them away with his fists. But the more he rubbed away, the faster they fell. It was painful to watch and tore Lucy's heart to pieces.<br>His words were punctured with loud, hiccuping sobs.  
>"I want to get better - I do! I-I. . .I'm trying, I really am! I promise. . .I just have to. . .try harder and - "<p>

_"No you don't!"_

Natsu's head jerked up to stare at Lucy. She was frowning, but somehow, the Dragonslayer knew she wasn't angry with him. Lucy's face softened when she met his eyes.

"You're trying as hard as you can, and I'm so proud of you," she smiled at him gently, "so stop apologizing."

Lucy's hand came up slowly and wiped the tears off Natsu's cheek.  
>He stared at her, sniffling.<br>Then Happy burrowed into Natsu's side, silently comforting him.  
>The Dragonslayer began to tremble, overcome with emotion. This sudden outpouring of love from his friends was enough to drive the fear away. His chest was still shaking with spasms and the tears kept falling, but he managed to thank them.<br>Lucy's gentle smile grew wider and she coaxed Natsu into laying down. The Dragonslayer rolled onto his side and Lucy pulled the covers over him. Happy snuggled up to Natsu's neck, his nose nestled in the boy's rosy hair. They made a sweet picture and it didn't take long for Natsu to fall into exhausted sleep.  
>The day had been long and hard - for everyone.<br>Lucy stood up to leave; on her way out, she noticed that Porlyusica was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

><p>Makarov sat at his desk, staring past the huge pile of papers on top of it.<br>He was watching the door; a part of him hoped it would open and Porlyusica would come in to tell him what a glowing success the spell had been. But another part dreaded her arrival, especially if the spell failed. . .

No!

Makarov shook that thought away. He had to believe that Porlyusica could heal Natsu. If he began to doubt, Makarov didn't want to know what dark thoughts would follow.  
>The Master eyed the stack of papers - job requests - on his desk. A sad thought came to him then; very few sheets would be addressing property damage, since Natsu hadn't been on a mission lately...<br>Makarov had wanted to stop these thoughts, but everywhere he looked, every stray thought he had, seemed to lead back to the Dragonslayer.  
>Makarov found himself wondering what it would be like if things could just go back to normal. He wanted that normalcy back more than anything else in the world.<p>

If he could have just that, then Makarov would be happy.

If his children would smile again, _genuinely_, then Makarov would smile along with them. The Master let these desires carry his mind away for the moment, till his heart was so full it hurt. Then he sighed and took a sheet from the pile on his desk. As he prepared to register the job, the door to his office opened. Porlyusica entered and Makarov immediately sat up straight, all of his attention focused on the old woman. But when he saw the look on her face, the anger and despair, his hope disappeared. He couldn't even form the question, but Porlyusica knew what he was going to ask.

"It failed," she said curtly.

The door slammed shut and the old woman was gone. Makarov felt the floor give out from under him. It was as if he were sinking into a deep darkness. Porlyusica's last spell hadn't worked and the Magic Council was breathing down his neck. Levy and Gajeel were still gone, and there was no way to contact them or know when they'd return. Their options were horribly limited and time was running out.  
>Makarov felt helpless.<p>

* * *

><p>Lucy opened the door to her house and was met with complete silence.<br>The air was cold and very still; no lights were on.  
>Even now, Lucy still hoped against hope that when she opened the door to her home, Natsu and Happy would be there. Yet she was painfully reminded each day that that was impossible.<br>Lucy didn't bother turning on any lights; it was late, but there was still enough natural light to see by. The spirit mage looked at the oven, wondering if she should get something to eat. But she reminded herself that she wasn't hungry, so there would be no point.  
>Lucy moved to the window overlooking the canal. The stars were just beginning to emerge, winking like tiny holiday lights.<p>

Lucy suddenly found herself hating them.

She was angry at them for being so far away from all the misery of her world. It wasn't fair. Lucy tore her gaze from the sky and looked out across the dark waters of the canal. It fit her mood much better, but the canal brought memories rushing back. Natsu's piercing, terrified scream filled her ears again. She saw him thrashing like a wounded animal, struggling against an enemy that wasn't there. It was absolutely horrifying to see her friend in so much pain. But the memory of Natsu's face when he awoke was the worst of all. Lucy had never seen such a raw, primal fear and it scared her even more to see it in Natsu's eyes. Despite her efforts, Lucy couldn't get the images out. They played over and over in her mind like some sick loop.  
>The spirit mage sank to the floor and covered her face.<p>

She never wanted to see something like that again.

Tears streamed down her cheeks.  
>She cried bitter tears because the world was moving on around Fairy Tail without sparing a look back. They had no idea of the pain the guild was in. Their lives were blissfully moving forward while she and her friends drowned in darkness.<br>She cried because the images would not leave her alone and his scream roared in her ears.

Lucy sat on the floor beneath the window overlooking the canal.  
>The lights were off and the house was dark and cold, the only sound was that of a young girl, crying her heart out for a friend who was suffering beyond belief.<p>

Lucy spent the night on the floor, in the dark, crying for Natsu.

* * *

><p><strong><em>AN: I'm baaaaack! I hope this chapter is an acceptable reward for everyone's patience-we're in the double digits now! Sigh, you're all much too good to me. Just in case it was hard to understand, Porlyusica's spell put a hole in the Wall that allowed a clear memory of Sodom to reach the front of Natsu's mind.  
>Writing Natsu's breakdown hurt, but this is the little one. I have a much bigger sob-fest in store for you all. Lucy's was also very sad, I just kept imagining her sitting in a corner of her house with the lights off, crying all night long. . . Well on that happy note! Thanks to all who have reviewed, followed, etc.! You all keep me going!<em>**

**_~Scyllia_**


	11. Breakthrough

It was early morning in Magnolia. Birds twittered softly from the rooftops, calling good morning to anyone who would listen. Magnolia was just beginning to rouse at the song; shops were opening their doors and the smell of breakfast was wafting through the windows.

Morning in the city were bright and pure, belying the grief that lurked deep inside.

The sun had just crested the hills, illuminating two figures from behind. One man, one woman. The pair was making its way down the grassy slope towards the city. They had an important destination in mind, and they carried something that was about to change the course of events.

* * *

><p>Happy didn't realize he'd been up all night until the sky began to turn pink outside. He'd curled up against Natsu's cheek what seemed like minutes ago, facing the window that overlooked Magnolia's canal system. The cat hadn't slept a wink since Porlyusica had left; the image of Natsu - terrified and struggling against an unseen monster - wouldn't leave him. The Dragonslayer had always been Happy's fearless companion. Whenever they faced a strong opponent, an impossible task, or a hopeless situation, it was Natsu who kept them going. When Happy was ready to give in, Natsu would pull Happy to his feet and dust him off.<p>

They were a team.

And everything was broken now. Happy turned to look at his best friend; seeing Natsu lying there, asleep, Happy could almost believe that everything was normal. But the last few weeks had destroyed any naive hopes he'd had for normalcy. Happy knew that even if Natsu did heal from his wounds, both mental and physical, scars would linger for eternity.

* * *

><p>As Lucy gripped the door handle to Fairy Tail, she hesitated. There was a faint hum coming from the other side. Conversation rose and fell, something Lucy found odd. Since the first lacrima's showing, the Guild had been largely silent and its members had been absent.<p>

Lucy swung the door open, curiosity driving her to find out what was going on. She wove through the group and found they'd formed a small circle around someone. His back was turned, but Lucy could recognize that tall, imposing figure and wild black mane anywhere.

"Gajeel! You're back!"

The Dragonslayer turned to regard Lucy, grunting his acknowledgement before he was hit with another question from a curious guild member. Lucy's mind was buzzing with far too many thoughts for her to hear the question. If Gajeel was here, then so was Levy. And if they were back, that meant that they had found something!

Hope bloomed in Lucy's chest. There was a chance they could help Natsu, maybe even save him.  
>"Gajeel! Where's Levy?"<br>"Huh? She's talking to the old man."  
>Lucy thanked him quickly and made her way to Makarov's office. When she opened the door, Lucy was surprised to see Erza, Gray, and Porlyusica already inside. She felt a little self-conscious until Levy beckoned her over. The group was poring over sheets of browned paper that held complex runes and diagrams. Levy was explaining everything to them, but the words flew right over Lucy's head. She wasn't alone, Porlyusica and Makarov seemed to be the only ones following Levy's explanation.<br>The Master sat back in his chair when Levy was done speaking, folding his arms in thought. "Are you sure this will work? That it's not some trap?"  
>Levy nodded, "I'm sure."<br>Gray huffed loudly. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but I don't get any of this stuff," he gestured vaguely to the papers on the desk. "What exactly are we trying to do?"  
>Lucy was silently thankful that he had asked. Levy was the one to explain, "Basically, the Dark Guild cast a spell on Natsu's mind that keeps him from accessing certain parts of his memory. Natsu needs those memories in order to heal."<br>Gray still didn't look convinced, but Lucy was catching on. Levy continued, "Think of it like an obstacle course, the spell cast on Natsu is like a massive wall that's keeping him from a full recovery. The wall is keeping Natsu from coming to terms with what happened to him, and then moving on. The spell has him trapped. . ."  
>Gray looked out the window when Levy's words trailed off. The silence that followed was heavy and uncomfortable. The group was once again confronted with the overwhelming task ahead.<p>

If they failed, Natsu would be lost forever.

* * *

><p>Porlyusica sat on the small chair at Natsu's bedside. Levy stood beside her and gazed down at the Dragonslayer. He didn't look much better since she and Gajeel had left days ago. "I never suspected that the counter-spell would look like this." Levy blinked and looked down at the old woman, prompting her to continue. "That a spell cast in the mind would have to be dismantled from the outside. . . I have never seen anything like this." Levy nodded. Despite her hatred for the dark guild that had hurt Natsu, Levy could admit that their spell-work was impressive.<p>

Porlyusica took an ink pot out from a drawer to her side and dipped a finger in it. Levy held out one of the diagrams while Porlyusica recreated it on Natsu's blanket. The boy didn't stir; but after the circle was drawn, Porlyusica cast a sleeping spell on him anyway.  
>Levy made her way to the other side of the bed and pulled a stool from the corner of the room. It was Levy's job to make sure Natsu didn't wake up while Porlyusica was casting the counterspell. The small mage extended her hands over the Dragonslayer's sleeping form. She felt the calming magic flow from her fingertips and nodded to Porlyusica. The old woman drew a series of runes on her palms with the ink and settled in to cast the spell. She began to mutter in an old language and red light curled outward from her palms. The magic snaked through the air, strangely beautiful, then alighted on the sleeping Dragonslayer.<p>

Natsu screamed.

* * *

><p>When Lucy heard the first scream, she wanted to throw up.<br>Levy had warned them that the spell could be painful, but the sound coming from the infirmary suggested worse. Natsu sounded absolutely terrified. It was suddenly hard to breathe and Lucy felt herself trembling. When had it gotten so cold in here?  
>Happy was sitting beside her in the guild hall, his plate of food untouched. When the screams grew impossibly louder, he covered his ears and stared at the floor.<p>

Lucy couldn't take it anymore.  
>She was weak and she didn't care. The spirit mage took Happy in her arms and left the Guild quickly.<br>Outside, the day was lighter than it had any right to be. The air was laden with all the scents of Magnolia's restaurants and the conversation of their patrons.  
>Lucy had no idea where her feet were taking her, but she was content to follow them. Happy was motionless in her arms, his ears still covered. The spirit mage was aware, somewhere at the edge of her mind, that the townspeople were staring. Their eyes made the skin on her back crawl and she was relieved when her feet turned her down a nearly deserted path.<br>But then they stopped suddenly.  
>Lucy looked up at the sign of the building before her; Happy craned his neck to look too, some force rousing him.<p>

_Pastel._ The cake shop where Lucy, Happy, and Natsu had celebrated Lucy's acceptance into Fairy Tail. Lucy blinked back tears and went inside. Warm memories came back like old friends at the tinkling of the shop bell. She remembered the three of them sitting by the window and eating the most delicious cakes Lucy hadn't known existed.  
>She remembered driving the shopkeeper crazy with their noise and wild demands. They were bittersweet memories, but Lucy allowed herself the small comfort of enjoying them. The spirit mage sat at the same window booth and opened the little menu in front of her. Happy climbed out of her arms and sat on the table to see out the window. As it was still early, the shopkeeper himself attended to them; Lucy recognized Merlot immediately and judging by the man's hesitation, he remembered them too. But Lucy could tell Merlot's hesitation didn't stem from Team Natsu's prior visits. No, the look in isr eyes was the same look the townspeople gave Lucy whenever she stepped outside. All the members of Fairy Tail got such looks; practically everyone in Magnolia knew what had happened. They didn't know the details, but they knew that Natsu had been missing for many months and that he'd returned bloodied and broken. It wasn't hard to put the pieces together or form ugly rumors that spread like wildfire.<p>

"What can I get for you today?"

"...Why?"

"Hm?"

"Why does everyone look at us like that?"

"What?"

"Why does everyone give us those pitying looks all the time?! Don't they know how that makes us all feel?!" Lucy was suddenly breathless. She hadn't realised she'd raised her voice like that. She'd lost control, anger and shame caused tears to burn in her eyes.

Happy had hardly twitched at her outburst; he continued to watch life go by outside the window. Merlot took a deep breath and sat down across from Lucy.

"I think you misunderstand."  
>Lucy looked up, startled. Merlot had a gentle smile on his face and his tone lacked hostility. "Yes, we pitied you at first, but that's changed."<br>Lucy didn't say anything, but she noticed Happy's ears had tilted back to listen.

"The people of this city have nothing but sympathy for you now. We look up to Fairy Tail - more than you know. We want to help, but what can us non magic users do?"  
>Merlot answered his own question, "We keep you in our hearts and prayers. Did you know that almost every citizen has donated to Fairy Tail in the last few weeks? It's the best we can do – at least for now."<br>The man stood up, his gentle smile never falling, "So please, don't confuse sympathy with pity."

Lucy felt fresh tears in her eyes, "I had no idea...I didn't know you - everyone - felt..." she was cut off by her own sob. Merlot laid a hand on the spirit mage's shoulder, then he placed two cake slices on the table. _"How did he..?"_  
>Lucy looked up in time to see a waitress walk off with an empty tray, a soft smile on her face.<p>

* * *

><p>It had been over an hour since the completion of the spell, but Levy's nausea still hadn't faded. She'd never performed a magic so physically draining her whole life.<br>She ate slowly, hoping Mira's cooking could work some magic on her stomach. Levy stole a glance up to Natsu's room; Porlyusica was still there, watching over him. The treatment had been a success and the guild members present were having toasts to wish for Natsu's recovery. Levy could only join in halfheartedly.  
>They hadn't been in that room with her; hearing Natsu scream and watching him thrash on the bed, eyes filled with horror. Levy could still see pieces of his memory that had broken through the spell and flashed across her psyche. Visions of blood and darkness and burnt flesh, the sneering face of the man who made Natsu's life a living hell.<br>But what frightened Levy the most was the knowledge that she hadn't seen anything close to the worst of it. She couldn't imagine the kind of abuse it'd take to break Natsu. The small mage sighed under the weight of her thoughts. She knew she should be celebrating with her guildmates, but all of her energy had disappeared. Levy looked at the clock and decided she should take over watch duty for Porlyusica. On her way up the staircase, Levy gazed out at her guildmates below. Their glasses clinked and the liquor flowed, accompanying shy, hopeful smiles. Levy wished with everything she had that those smiles would take root and grow. She wanted them all to take this path of healing more than anything else.

The door swung open just before Levy reached it. Porlyusica stood in the doorway, supporting Natsu. Levy let out a small, shocked gasp. How could Natsu possibly be up and walking? And why was Porlyusica letting him do it?  
>The Dragonslayer looked awful. His eyes were unfocused and bloodshot. Exhaustion radiated from every bone in his body.<br>"Natsu! What are you doing out of bed?!"  
>He smiled faintly at her, "Hungry."<br>Levy looked in exasperation at Porlyusica, but the old woman's face was carefully blank. The two women stared each other down until a crash sounded from the mess hall below. Levy went to the railing and looked down, Wakaba had knocked over a bar stool. Yet the man hadn't moved to pick it up, in fact, no one was moving at all. Levy felt her eyes drawn to the entrance of the guild. Her breath stuck in her throat. Two magistrates had entered the Guild, flanked by rune knights. The frog-like men were nearly identical in appearance and their black eyes swept the room.

"Your time's up Fairy Tail, the Council requests an immediate audience with Natsu Dragneel."

A collective murmur rose in the air; tension crackled like lightning. Levy spun on her heel and ran to Makarov's office. She thrust the heavy door open and found the man half asleep at his desk.  
>"The Council's back! They want Natsu!" Makarov jolted awake and was out the door in seconds. He looked around, taking note of the crowd, the knights, and of Natsu outside his room. The old man cursed and strode toward the Dragonslayer and the old woman supporting him.<br>"What is he doing outside his room? Get him inside now! We have to-"

"Master Makarov Dreyar."

The nasally voice cut straight across the guildhall and everyone fell silent. The magistrates were looking directly at the small group upstairs. Levy could swear the magistrates were smirking. "I surely hope you are not trying to hide Natsu Dragneel from us?" Makarov's mouth went dry and his mind blanked. This was a situation he was surely not prepared for. He looked to Porlyusica for help. Her brow was wrinkled in anger, but her body read defeat.  
>She met Makarov's gaze and shook her head; there was no use defying a Council order.<p>

* * *

><p>It was early evening by the time Lucy felt ready to leave the cake shop. The small gestures of shop customers throughout the day had rooted her in place with gratitude. The adults' condoling nods and the childrens' faint smiles soothed the pain in her heart. The strangers were not helping in a literal sense, but their efforts went a long way. Happy walked beside her. He was still more quiet than usual, but his head was no longer hanging.<p>

The faint buzz Lucy had heard from the street grew the closer she got to the Guild. As she stood before it, the buzz became a roar. The doors were open, but there were too many bodies blocking her view. She nudged her way to the front and came face to face with a rune knight. He pushed her to the side and continued back the way she'd come.  
>It was a procession, she realized, when a few more knights and then two magistrates followed. The last group of knights had formed a circle around Natsu. The Dragonslayer was cuffed and obviously frightened. He half limped half stumbled along, barely keeping up. He looked around wildly and when he spotted Lucy and Happy, he lurched towards them. His mouth opened to call out when one of the knights roughly shoved him back. Natsu looked hurt and he fell silent. His head dropped and the knights moved to block him from sight.<br>As the procession moved on, Lucy struggled to keep up. She and Happy fought through the crowd to keep pace with Natsu.  
>A sob rose in Lucy's throat and she could barely speak. "N-Natsu! Don't go…! Natsu!" Even to her ears, she sounded like a frightened child.<br>She got too close and one of the rune knights snarled at her. Lucy was pushed back, but someone caught her.  
>"Lucy, this is out of our hands…" The spirit mage didn't need to look, the voice belonged to Gray.<p>

The procession left through the wide double doors and into the street. They soon disappeared, and only the quiet street remained.

Lucy sagged against Gray and cried.

"Come back. . . please."

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><p><em><strong>AN: I'm baaaack!**_

_**You guys are seriously heaven-sent angels or something. All you readers are so patient and kind, I'm truly thankful for you! I think I know how to end this story now and I'm going to binge a whole bunch of Fairy Tail episodes to get back in the mood.  
>Shoutout to TheGoldenDragonofFiore for finding that silly spelling mistake!<br>Shoutout to Doom Marine 54 as well. Even though your reviews were unnecessarily rude, you brought up a few good points!  
>1. The story takes place before the Oracion Seis arc, so Wendy is not present. I believe another reader PM'd me about the same thing and I neglected to make that clear.<br>2. I will use lacrima rather than tapes.  
>3. I actually have not seen the purge films and I think humanity is moving away from anything like them. I know it is completely illogical to blame an entire group for the actions of the few (and it's refreshing to find someone who thinks the same way!), but that's what angertrauma does to a person. It makes them think illogically. For example, a person bitten by a dog may end up fearing dogs in general. Is it illogical for them to fear all dogs because of one dog's actions? Yes! But it happens nonetheless.  
>Keep in mind the emotional state of the character who's speaking. In that case, it was Porlyusica, who canonically already hates humanity. <strong>_

_**Thank you everyone for your encouragement and support!**_


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